I need in help.
This is my argumentative essay. I would like to get a really good advices. You can correct all that is possible: grammar, cohesion an coherence, vocabulary etc.
My mark from
if it can be helpful.
Bad Phrase Score
Bad Phrase Score*: 1.2 (lower is better). You did equal or better than 46% of the people in your education level..
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Transitional Words Score*: 101. You did equal or better than 98% of the people in your education level.
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Great job! Your usage of transitional phrases is well above average! You may not need to read the info below, but you're such a meticulous writer that you probably will anyways.
One sign of an excellent writer is the use of transitional phrases. Transitional words and phrases (e.g. therefore, consequently, furthermore) contribute to the cohesiveness of a text and allow the sentences to flow smoothly. Without transitional phrases, a text will often seem disorganized and will most likely be difficult to understand. When these special words are used, they provide organization within a text and lead to greater understanding and enjoyment on the part of the reader.
These words and phrases fall under a few grammatical categories:
• Conjunctions: but, provided, and, although
• Prepositional phrases: in addition to, in conclusion
• Adverbs: also, however, nevertheless
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For example, you could write:
Form and function are central themes in Biology. However, knowing the structure of something does not necessarily reveal its function.
The word 'however' contributes to greater unity or cohesion between sentences.
Vocabulary Score: 59. You did equal or better than 49% of the people in your education level.
Vocabulary Word Count: 14
Percentage of Vocab Words: 1.9%
Vocabulary Words in this Paper (a Subset): engage, prevalent, demeanor, boisterous, bearing, conformity, effective, feature, benefits, aberrant
This paper could benefit from greater usage of vocabulary words. Although your vocabulary score is within the average range for most writers, boosting it will help your paper stand out. Consider using the Vocab Builder and set a goal. Try to reach the 60th percentile after revising your text with a thesaurus. Next, keep going! Why not reach the 101st percentile? Is that even possible? There's only one way to find out...
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Grade: 89* -> B
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My title: How the children’s deviance can be explained and is it possible to avoid it?
Today, people gradually discuss the increase in crime rates among adolescents. As Wiesner and Silbereisen had explored in 2003 adolescents continue to engage in criminal behaviors despite the trend that overall juvenile arrests have decreased. This rise of the delinquency in turn provokes the rise of the interest on the researches considering the child’s deviance, peers, family etc., explaining their connection and giving solutions. The goal of this essay is to analyze the main theories that are notably prevalent in this topic, in other words, examine some of the existing influences on the child that support the deviance, and give possible ways to avoid the children’s delinquency.
The first and one of the main agents that participate in forming of the social control of a child and, consequently, of a whole community is family. It is believed that family directly influence on the child through the parenting and the family structure, for example, the relationships among adolescents and their parents can explain the overall level of delinquency. Why adolescents participate in deviant demeanor can be explained by social disorganizational theory. This theory implies that high rates of delinquency arise when the informal social control of the community deteriorates. According to Sheldon and Glueck study (1950), the juvenile offenders are more likely to come from homes where parents used coercive parenting, where children did not feel love and support. In this connection, Carlson and Amber (2012) state that single parent families have difficulties in providing the necessary conditions that could prevent crime and delinquency. Here we can observe the strong link between the family structure and the favorable conditions for child’s life. Therefore, parents should monitor and support with consistent advices, admonitions and even punishments of a child, if it is necessary to avoid the deviant behavior, participate in the children’s life and save the full family structure, since parents usually represent the model toward their children.
There is another point on the nature of children’s deviance that claim that namely the peers have a consistent influence on the child and just the negative conditions provoke the children’s involvement in the boisterous activities. Nowadays there is well-known social identity theory that suggests that peer group membership plays a critical role in self-appraisal, children who spend time with members motivated to create and maintain the pro-social norms of their group achieve a positive group identity that leads to pro-social bearing, provide opportunities for their members create an acceptable life. Such positive groups are so-called low-status groups and explain only positive side of the children’s life. On the other part, high-status groups can explain the reason why children are involved in crime. Just members of high-status groups accept and reward deviant behavior. According to Ellis and Zarbatany (2007), the exceedingly powerful influence provide the high-status groups that’s why the development of adolescent risk-taking behavior increase in such groups. Several studies show that providing the necessary conditions for creating the positive group conformity is one of the highly effective ways to reduce the delinquency among adolescents. Nevertheless, we always experience several challenges in creating these necessary conditions. To understand why it happens, let’s move on to the last, but not the least reason of the increasing delinquency of children.
The structure of leisure of children creates plenty of differences in the extracurricular activity that can explain the intentions and plans of a child. One of the main leisure feature is that it can be structured and unstructured. The unstructured socializing with peers in the absence of authority figures presents opportunities for deviance and, on the contrary, the structured activity have various benefits for a child. For instance, social control theory, that was somehow described above, consider that the person involved in any activity (it means involved in any structured activity), that is too busy, cannot find the time to engage in aberrant behavior. According to Osgood, Wilson, O'Malley, Bachman and Johnston (1996), the situations conducive to deviance are especially prevalent in unstructured socializing activities with peers that occur in the absence of authority figures. They also argue that the lack of structure leaves time available for deviance; the presence of peers makes it easier to participate in deviant acts and makes them more rewarding. Moreover, they connect the deviant behavior with the activity occurring away from home. Their arguments can be supported by other researches affirming that the level of delinquency increase when adolescents participate in outdoor activities with injurious peers. Overall, almost all literature considering the outdoor activities under the peer’s influence state manifold drawbacks of such pass time. Apparently, the reduction of time spent in the unstructured socializing with peers may help to avoid the child’s involvement in the deviant activity.
We tried to consider as many as possible reasons of children’s deviant behavior. And we saw that there are plentiful explanations of the deviance: from the perspective of family, peers or structure of leisure time. Certainly, we cannot state that these are only explanations of deviant behavior; we understand that there is a variety of them. At least we could extend our consideration by school influence, which the majority of scientists pay attention, the influence of other adults, participating in the child socialization etc. However, we took some of a variety of explanations to create the author’s point of view; we have included just surpassingly significant themes from the point of view of modern sociology. Of course, this essay cannot be considered as a rule or, as I said above, as a single point of view. If we wanted to examine the children's deviance, we should include all existing theories on the child and deviance, but it would be the in-depth study, indeed.
1. Carlson, Amber. How Parents Influence Deviant Behavior among Adolescents: An Analysis of their Family Life, their Community, and their Peers. Academic Journal. 2012. P. 42-51.
2. Ellis WE., Zarbatany L. Peer group status as a moderator of group influence on children's deviant, aggressive, and prosocial behaviour // Child Development. 2007. Vol. 78. № 4. P. 1240-1254.
3. Osgood D. W., Wilson J. K., O'Malley P. M., Bachman J. G., Johnston L. D. Routine Activities and Individual Deviant Behavior // American Sociological Review. 1996. Vol. 61, No. 4. P. 635-655.
4. Sheldon, Glueck. Unravelling Juvenile Delinquency. The Commonwealth Fund. 1950. London: Oxford University Press. 11 pp.
5. Wiesner, Margit and Rainer K. Silbereisen. Trajectories of Delinquent Behavior in Adolescence and their Covariates: Relations with Initial and Time-Averaged Factors // Journal of Adolescence. 2003. Vol. 26. № 1. P. 753-771.
Я буду очень благодарен всем вашим советам!