Если хочешь произвести впечателние на англоговорящих
По собственному опыту лучше как-нибудь совместно попив пивка встать в позу Гамлета
и с пафосом продекламировать следующие строки.
To pee, or not to pee -that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The stings and sparkles of outrageous urine
Or to hurry up towards the neatest flowerbeds
And by unloading burn them. To urinate, (i.e.)to pee,
No more; and by a pee to say we end
The bladderache and the thousand natural shocks
That alcohol is responsible for. 'Tis a bodily function
Devoutly to be wished. To urinate, to pee.
To pee -perchance to be seen. Ay, there's the rub!
For in that that piss of death what neighbours may come
Must give us haste.
There's the respect
That makes street-shots of so short life.
For who would bear the screams and shouts of wives.
The husband's wrong, the proud man's despise,
The pangs of incensed dogs, the dustman's delay,
When he himself might his piss make
In barely a moment??
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is gilded over with the bright cast of thought,
And boozers of great piss and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And leave the place of action.