Эссе reading a book vs film version

[English Guru]

Перенес тему пользователя Игорь:

Здравствуйте. Не могли бы проверить и моё сочинение? Заранее спасибо.

Задание:

Some of my friends say there is nothig better than reading a good book while other would rather watch its film version. What is your opinion. How would you prefer to get to know the characters and the plot of the book?

Эссе:

People have been reading since time immemorial. We still want to read. It explains the increasing popularity of books. But there is a new way to spent our free time. It is to watch film versions of the books. This method of entertainment was created in recent years, but the popularity of it became higher than reading books. What the better way to discover the characters and the plot of the book? Watch films or read books? This question became very important nowadays. I am going express my point of view about this subject.

As for me, I prefer reading books, than watching TV. First of all, books give you much more details than film. Consequently, your understanding of all actions becomes clearer. Moreover, your vocabulary become bigger and bigger. Especially, if you read books in foreign language.
However, some people claim, that watching films consume less time and it’s more enjoyable.

I disagree with this view. I think that director of the film gives us his own interpretation of the book. So the meaning of the book is distorted. Usually it happened, because there is not much time to explain everything in two hours.

In conclusion, I would like to say that we need read books to increase our intellectual abilities and skills. (214 слов)

[karina_mia]

В рекомендуемой ФИПИ структуре эссе 5 абзацев, у Вас же явно выделено только 4. Обратите внимание, что следует улучшить абзац №4 (по Вашей работе №3), а именно:

4 абзац — обоснование почему вы не согласны с этой точкой зрения и ваши аргументы. Желательно опровергать не просто точку зрения в общем, а аргументы тех, чье мнение вы привели в 3-м параграфе.

Если вы увеличите абзац №4, тогда советую уменьшить вступление, иначе эссе получится слишком большим!

Теперь к лексике и грамматике:

there is a new way to spent

GR: to spend

What the better way to discover

GR + ART + PREP: What is a better way of dicovering

Watch films or read books?

LEX: Я бы сказал инфинитивами: To watch films or read books?

This question became very important nowadays.

Tense: лучше has become

I am going express

PREP: I am going to express

I prefer reading books, than watching TV

Comma: Запятая не нужна

books give you much more details than film.

SP: Либо films, либо артикль ставьте

your vocabulary become bigger

GR: becomes

if you read books in foreign language

ART: in a foreign language

some people claim, that watching films

Comma: запятая не нужна

watching films consume less time

GR: consumes

Usually it happened, because there is not much

Tense: happens

Добавлено спустя 2 минуты 38 секунд:
У Вас, возможно, снимут несколько баллов за структуру и грамматику. Не вдаваясь в подробности, данное эссе заслуживает примерно 10/14 баллов.

[Igor]

Спасибо за комментарии.
Я старался им следовать, и вот что получилось:
New method of entertaining was created in recent years but the popularity of it became higher than reading books. What is the better way of discovering the characters and the plot of the book? To watch films or read books? This question has become very important nowadays. I am going to express my point of view about this subject.

People have been reading since time immemorial. We still want to read. It explains high vogue on books. As for me, I prefer reading a book, than watching TV. First of all, books give you much more details than film. Consequently, your understanding of all actions becomes clearer. Moreover, I think that director of the film gives us his own interpretation of the book. So the meaning of the book is distorted.

However, some people claim that watching films consumes less time than reading a book.

I disagree with this view. In my opinion, good books are really enjoyable. And I cannot see the meaning of depriving yourself from the good time. I think that by watching film version of book you just waste your time, not save it.

In conclusion, I would like to say that we need read books to increase our intellectual abilities and skills. And, of course, good books make us happier.

[English Guru]

Сегодня-завтра проверю!

[English Guru]

New method of entertaining

A new method

What is the better way of discovering

a better - вас же уже поправили!

First of all, books give you much more details than film.

Любое исчисляемое существительное должно иметь артикль! Поставьте нужный артикль перед словом film.

I think that director of the film

the film director

And I cannot see the meaning of depriving yourself from

В этом случае используем слово sense, а не meaning

depriving yourself from the good time.

depriving yourself of a good time.

by watching film version of book

Любое исчисляемое существительное должно иметь артикль!

Замечания:

1. Третий абзац слишком маленький и неаргументированный
2. Не рекомендуется обращаться к читателю на "you", замените на people, somebody, a person и т.п.

[English Guru]

By Ildar:

тема 'a book or its film version? what is better? '

Nowadays there are two main ways of getting to know the characters and the plot of a book – reading it or watching its film version. Some people prefer reading to watching. Others are quite happy with a film version of a book.

As for me, the best way of learning the characters and the plot of a book is reading it. Firstly, when you read a good book the whole new world opens to you; it is up to your imagination to picture the characters and the their life. Secondly, only the book can fully describe the characters’ feelings and the way they think.
However, some people think that a film version of a book is enough to get to know the characters the plot. They claim reading books is boring and takes up a great deal of time.

I cannot agree with them. Every book is a wonderful thing. Even though reading books may take a while it is absolutely worth spending time. Apart from learning the characters you can increase your vocabulary and enrich your speech by reading books.

To sum up, I would say that reading a book is much better than watching its film version. Films, based on books, will never reveal minute details and the real feelings of characters, and that is what magic of reading books is all about.

Добавлено спустя 10 минут:

to picture the characters and the their life.

the - лишнее

some people think that a film version of a book is enough to get to know the characters the plot.

and the plot - союз потерян?

hat is what magic of reading books is all about.

the magic of - артикль the, потому что дальше уточняющая фраза с предлогом of

[tanya3533]

Some people prefer reading to watching films. Others watch a film instead of reading. Everybody have different tastes and their own opinion.

As for me, I prefer reading a good books to watching films. First of all, when you read the books of authors who write very well, you can clearly and competently express your thoughts. This way you can enrich your vocabulary very well. Secondly, screenwriter and director are not able to convey the mood of heroes, the nature of characters and the storyline itself. A film based on the same book will not contain all that in it. here will be changes, omissions and exaggerations as the director sees.

But some people have another point of view. They believe that watching films is better than reading books because in films there are a lot of exciting effects and watching films takes less time than reading books.

Despite I respect their opinion, I cannot agree with them because there is no better director and producer than your imagination. When we read, we imagine all details: how the nature looks, people's appearance and other more. That is why, you can be greatly disappointed when your ideas may not coincide with the director's vision of the film.

To sum up, there are different points of view upon this problem but I still stand my ground that reading books is better than watching films because from reading you get more emotions and life experience.

Проверьте, пожалуйста

[English Guru]

Everybody have different

everybody HAS

reading a good books

reading good books - множественное число без артикля

competently

completely

Despite I respect their opinion,

Despite this fact I respect - запомните

When we read, we imagine all details

Запятая не нужна

how the nature looks, people's appearance and other more.

Странная связка в конце, поставьте ..., and so on.

-1 балл за грамматику
-1 балл за лексику
-1 балл за пунктуацию

ИТОГ: 11/14 - хорошее эссе, только уберите грубые грамматические ошибки!

[tanya3533]

Спасибо большое!

[Anastasia22]

Nowadays many people like watching films more than reading the books on which they are based. But others believe that films cannot give us everything that books can. So what is better? Now I would like to express my opinion on this problem.

In the fact, I am a book lover. So I think that books are better than films for a number of reasons. Firstly, using our imagination can allow us to see such pictures and actions that cannot be reproduced in a real life. Secondly, in films we often see only a small piece of what the author wanted to say as directors usually reserve the right to change a plot.

However, there are people who have poor imagination or just prefer watching films for other reasons. They claim that modern computer technologies can do impossible things and actors are professional so we do not need to strain our mind.

I cannot completely agree with this statement. I still feel that reading books is more useful for our mind and health than watching films which can cause vision problems.

At the end, I can say that there are different opinions about this problem. But I believe that books will be held through the centuries and will be popular with many people of different ages.

Заранее спасибо за проверку!