Форум для изучающих английский язык

**Alyona** » 28.09.2016, 16:09

Проверьте и укажите на ошибки пожалуйста.
Some people think small towns are better places than big cities for living.
As for as I am concerned, I disagree with this statment. I believe that the big cities are more suitable for humans. My arguments for this point of view are listed as follows. First of all, a person has more prospects and opportunities. People have a large choice of job in the big cities. Secondly, in the cities of this kind there are some museums, theatres and other facility, where people can enhance their knowledge and study new information. Besides, men can find the different friends, who help them develop.
Nevertheless, some people have opinion that the live in the small towns the best for them. Becouse all the population of the town knows each other. Also, any parents do not care about their children so much. There are small number of crimes or they might not be.
However, I am sure the biggest cities are better for people. Walking the streets, the persons can feel the freedom.
From the above what I have discussed, we can drow a conclusion that every person figures out on their own and he have to decides for himself, where he want to live in the big cities or small towns.

**English Guru** » 28.10.2016, 14:08

Alyona писал(а):Some people think small towns are better places than big cities for living.

В первом абзаце требуется перефразировать или соотнести с более широкой проблемой. Также абзац должен состоять минимум из 2-3 предложений.

Alyona писал(а):this statment

stetement

Alyona писал(а):I believe that the big cities

big cities - лучше без артикля, ведь у нас не перечислены конкретные большие города!

Alyona писал(а):theatres and other facility

facilities

Alyona писал(а):men can find the different friends

can find different friends

Alyona писал(а):that the live in the small towns

life

Alyona писал(а):Becouse

because

Alyona писал(а):There are small number of crimes or they might not be.

There is a small number... or no crimes at all.

Alyona писал(а):Walking the streets

along the strets

Alyona писал(а):the persons

не нужен артикль

Alyona писал(а):From the above what I have discussed,

Нет такой шаблонной фразы, возьмите другую из структуры эссе

Alyona писал(а):drow a conclusion

draw

Alyona писал(а):he have to decides for himself,

they have to decide for themselves

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