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Some people think that extreme sports help to build character. Эссе

Английский форум Помощь Бесплатная подготовка к ОГЭ и ЕГЭ Эссе по английскому языку: ЕГЭ C2

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Модератор: karina_mia

Сообщение nastyakabaeva » 14.01.2014, 20:55

People have been doing sports since time immemorial years. Olympic Games have been a popular entertainment early in the century. Today we still want to do sport and exactly extreme sports getting more and more popular. So what are people think about extreme sports?

In my opinion, sport is a part of our life and extreme sport s help people in different situations. First of all, it determines a character. Consequently each person becomes more confident, trying to use your head before actions. Secondly, extreme sports prepare people to get over hazards. As a result, person can get by any disasters. Finally, this sport not only develops character, but and helps healthy from illnesses such as cold, flu and so on.

On the other hand, some people believe that extreme sport is rather a dangerous kind of sport, because everyone can broke any part of body. Only specially trained people should do this sport.

I agree with this statement too, but I consider it develops self control. With the help of extreme sport person learns to control your fear and actions. It is really important.

Despite other people’s opinion, I still believe that extreme sports will be demand among people and it will help to develop stable and confident character.

210 слов, извините, время не засекла, забыла (
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Сообщение English Guru » 18.01.2014, 22:40

nastyakabaeva писал(а):since time immemorial years.
Лексика: time immemorial.

nastyakabaeva писал(а):extreme sports getting more and more popular
Грамматика: are getting - пишем полную форму Present Continuous

nastyakabaeva писал(а):So what are people think about extreme sports?
Грамматика: what do people think - грубая ошибка. Вспом. глагол DO/DOES в Present Simple

nastyakabaeva писал(а):it determines a character
Не знаю, ставить ли артикль.... В задании его нет "help to build character", и у Вас потом тоже пропадает:
nastyakabaeva писал(а):to develop stable and confident character.
Вы уж определитесь!

nastyakabaeva писал(а):Consequently each person
Запятая после Consequently

nastyakabaeva писал(а):each person becomes more confident, trying to use your head before actions
ОЧЕНЬ ВАЖНО: не YOUR, a HIS or HERS - нельзя обращаться к читателю you

nastyakabaeva писал(а):As a result, person can get by any disasters.
Лексика: я не понял смысл употребления глагола get by

nastyakabaeva писал(а):but and helps
and - лишнее

nastyakabaeva писал(а):Finally, this sport
Лексическое несоответствие - какой ЭТОТ спорт?

nastyakabaeva писал(а):helps healthy from illnesses such as cold
Лексика: необходимо перефразировать - healthy - здоровый, health - здоровье, help smth/sb без предлогов!

nastyakabaeva писал(а):some people believe that extreme sport is rather a dangerous kind of sport
Грамматика: extreme sports, a rather dangerous kind of sport

nastyakabaeva писал(а):a dangerous kind of sport, because
запятой нет перед because

nastyakabaeva писал(а):because everyone can broke any part of body.
Лексика и грамматика: anyone can break - после модальных глаголов идёт инфинитив!

nastyakabaeva писал(а):I agree with this statement too, but I consider it develops self control.
Лексическое несоответствие - кто развивает самоконтроль? IT? Statement развивает?

nastyakabaeva писал(а):With the help of extreme sport
sports

nastyakabaeva писал(а):With the help of extreme sport person learns
Артикль: a person

nastyakabaeva писал(а):to control your fear and actions.
ОЧЕНЬ ВАЖНО: не YOUR, a HIS or HERS - нельзя обращаться к читателю you.

nastyakabaeva писал(а):extreme sports will be demand
Лексика: will be in demand

Коэффициенты:

К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи): 2
К2 (организация текста): 3
К3 (лексика): 1
K4 (грамматика): 0
К5 (орфография и пунктуация): 1

ИТОГ: 7/14

Удовлетворительная работа, чтобы улучшить свой результат, Вам необходимо прочитать про запятые http://englishgu.ru/zapjatye-v-anglijskom/ , запомнить информацию про артикль выше, а также работать над лексикой, в ВК я кидал ссылки на обучающие сериалы и ted.com.
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Сообщение karina_mia » 09.02.2014, 12:23

Cочинение на тему "Some people think that extreme sports help build character. What is your opinion?" by Ildar

Extreme sports like snowboarding or rock climbing have amazed people for a long time. These kinds of sports are supposed to help people keep fit and healthy. However, some observers could not help noticing another feature of adventure sports; in their mind, they also help build character.

In my opinion, extreme sports indeed make us become confident and determined. To begin with, there are a lot of difficulties a sportsman has to cope with while doing adventure sports: weather conditions, physical exertion and fear. These experiences strongly affect both physical and mental developments – people become more decisive and determined, learn how to solve problems independently. Furthermore, taking the risk is an essential part of extreme sports, so if a person is determined to gain success in adventure sports, becoming fearless and confident is a must.

On the other hand, some people think that extreme sports are absolutely useless and dangerous and thus do not help people become successful or determined. They claim these activities involve a high level of risk and hazard, so building character and doing extreme sports are non-related concepts.

I cannot agree with this opinion. Adventure sports may seem dangerous and unsafe, but permanent exercises and will power can lessen the fear and help become a confident person in this area. People who do extreme sports are usually very optimistic and determined and they never leave things half done.

To sum up, I would say that adventure sports have a lot of advantages. Apart from making us stronger and faster they develop such character qualities as decisiveness, determination and will power.
How people treat you is their karma.
How you react is yours.
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Сообщение English Guru » 09.02.2014, 12:35

Ildar, это очень круто :cool:

268 слов. Большое образцово-показательное эссе без ошибок!
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Сообщение nastya9 » 14.04.2014, 18:43

some people believe that extreme sports help to build character..

There are a lot of people who believe that extreme sports help to build character. Nevertheless, some people say that extreme sports are useless. Now I would like to express my point of view on this problem.

In my opinion, extreme sports are really helpful. Firstly, people who do extreme sports are strong and brave. They are used to keep calm in stressful situations, control themselves and overcome their fears. Secondly, these people are strong willed because they have to achieve their aims through the danger.

 However, some people consider extreme sports to be rather worthless than useful. They think that there are a lot of different ways of building character and there is no need to risk your life. Besides, those activities can cause a lot of injures.
I disagree with this point of view. Extreme sports teach people how to behave in emergencies and help to keep fit at the same time. Moreover, doing extreme sports is an achievement because not everyone ventures to take it up.

To sum up, there are two different points of view. As for me, I am sure that extreme sports help people to believe in themselves and live their lives with a self-confident feeling.
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Сообщение English Guru » 15.04.2014, 02:35

nastya9 писал(а):There are a lot of people who believe that extreme sports help to build character.
В первом абзаце нужно перефразировать мысль, а не переписать.

nastya9 писал(а):They are used to keep calm
used to keeping calm - так как герундий после предлога

nastya9 писал(а):They are used to keep calm in stressful situations, control
Поскольку Вы переметнулись с пассивного залога на активный, нужно продублировать подлежащее
They are used to keeping calm in stressful situations, they control ...

nastya9 писал(а):to risk your life
to risk one's life - придерживайтесь стиля, не используйте второе лицо глагола

nastya9 писал(а):and live their lives with a self-confident feeling.
лучше with a feeling of self-confidence

nastya9, за стиль Вам могут снизить оценку на пару баллов. У Вас достойная работа!
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Сообщение Immortal » 30.05.2014, 04:00

Сочинение на тему "Some people think that extreme sports help to build character."

Nowadays many people think that if you do extreme sport, your character will be strong and persistant. Others claim that exctreme sports will bring you nothing but harm. Now I want to express my opinion.

I do believe that extreme sports help you to built character. Of cause, it is dangerous and that is why this sport is called "extreme". When you do such kind of sport you are teahing yourself to meet danger face-to-face and not to run away when some little problem appears. Also you become used to a stressful situation, you become brave,strong and calm. You know what to do and you do not afraid.

Nevertheless, there are people who think that extreme sports bring only problems with your heath, because you can fall, you can beadly hurt yourself,you can become a cripple or even die. They say that only a person who wants to expose himself to the show would do such kind of sport.

But I disagree. Firstly,safety is provided to the sportsmans and if you follow the instructions you will be safe. Secondly, those, who want to show themselves up, do not last long in extreme sport, they just fall of because of a hursh condidtion.

In conclution I want to say that extreme sport is very good for your character because if you do it with desire and persistance you will become strong,resolute and develop willpower.


240 слов.
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Сообщение AiYA_Z » 30.05.2014, 22:16

Проверьте, пожаалуйста)

Some people think that extreme sports help to build character.

People have been doing sports since time immemorial. Everyone know that it makes your body stronger. Some people believe that there is one more point of extreme sport’s impact on our lives. They suppose that sport makes stronger not only our bodies but also our characters. However, the others tend to believe that extreme sports can affect on one’s character in a bad way.

In my opinion, extreme sports have positive effect on our characters. First of all, we should remember that sport learns people to be well-disciplined. Doubtless, this is a very good feature of character. Secondly, extreme sports like skateboarding, base-jumping, snowboarding, and so on, make people brave and self-confident. As a rule, people, who does some extreme sport, more resolute than the others.

However, some people maintain that this kinds of sport are cruel and too dangerous. They suppose that extreme sports lovers are aggressive.

I totally disagree with this point of view. On the contrary, sport is a great way to let one’s anger go out, specially extreme kinds of sport.

So it is up to everybody to decide whether extreme sports have positive or negative effect on us, help to build our character or do not. All the way, we cannot ignore the fact that sportsmen have not only a strong body but also a great spirit.
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Сообщение English Guru » 01.06.2014, 01:45

Immortal писал(а):do extreme sport
Увлекаться спортом по-английски: to go in for sports

Immortal писал(а):Of cause,
Of course

Immortal писал(а):do such kind of sport
см. пункт 1

Immortal писал(а):you are teahing yourself
teaching yourself - сам себе преподаешь? :weirdface: Лексическая ошибка. Видимо, learning

Immortal писал(а):you become brave,strong and calm.
Требуется запятая перед and при перечислении.

Immortal писал(а):you can fall, you can beadly hurt yourself,you can become
Старайтесь не обращаться к читателю на you - дурной стиль.

Immortal писал(а):to expose himself to the show
Что это значит? Есть такой оборот?

Immortal писал(а):himself
himself or herself - обязательно упомянуть оба пола!

Immortal писал(а):sportsmans
:eek: sportsmen

Immortal писал(а):if you follow the instructions you will be safe
Требуется запятая перед you will

Immortal писал(а):Secondly, those, who want
Запятая перед who не нужна!

Immortal писал(а):to show themselves up
Если что "выделываться", это to show off

Immortal писал(а):they just fall of because of
fall off? Как-то не вяжется...

-1 балл за стиль
-1 балл за орфографию и пунктуацию
-2 балла за лексику

ИТОГ: 10/14

Добавлено спустя 28 минут 21 секунду:
AiYA_Z писал(а):Everyone know
knows, т.к. everyone - единственное число!

AiYA_Z писал(а):However, the others
Обычно пишем others без артикля (просто другие)

AiYA_Z писал(а):can affect on one’s character
affect one's character - употребляется без предлога!

AiYA_Z писал(а):remember that sport learns people
teaches people, чувствуете разницу между teach и learn?

AiYA_Z писал(а):people, who does some extreme sport,
people who do + две запятые не нужны

AiYA_Z писал(а):does some extreme sport
go in for sports - увлекаться спортом

AiYA_Z писал(а):people, who does some extreme sport, more resolute than the others.
people ... are more resolute

AiYA_Z писал(а):some people maintain that this kinds of sport
Чего они там maintain? The opinion, наверное...

AiYA_Z писал(а):this kinds of sport
these - множественное число

:protest: Где аргументы в третьем абзаце?!

AiYA_Z писал(а):specially extreme kinds of sport.
especially - особенно

AiYA_Z писал(а):have positive or negative effect on us
a positive or negative

AiYA_Z писал(а):All the way,
что это за связка такая?

-1 балл за грамматику
-1 балл за аргументацию
-2 балла за лексику
-1 балл за орфографию и пунктуацию

Итог: 9/14
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Сообщение AiYA_Z » 01.06.2014, 12:01

ооо((( извините, я дурындак(( :cry: спасибо за разбор)
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Some people think that extreme sports help to build character.

Сообщение Alina0123 » 06.04.2015, 15:55

some people think that extreme kinds of sport help to a person to become more self-collected and strong both physically and mentally. however, others think differently, so who is right? i agree with this statement and think that high-risk sport makes a human to overcome himself in some way. it certainly gives an opportunity for self-development and getting new experiences.
moreover, extreme sports help to a person to feel alive and strengthen the belief in one's power. such activities assist him to understand the sense of life better.
on the contrary, there are people who don't accept risky sports at all. they think that it is really nerve-wracking and doing extreme sports is sheer lunacy. well, the difference in views is explainable. high-risk sport is not for everybody, it aslo demands some advance physical preparation.
in my opinion, there is nothing bad in this sport. and i guess that it is just one more way to challenge yourself and check your forces. some people find this business motivating even.
to sum it up, i can say that doing extreme kinds of sport is really helpful. it improves not only the skills of your body but also enriches your thinking.
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Please, check my version

Сообщение Andrey » 07.04.2015, 11:05

Nowadays, extreme sports are getting increasingly popular. Doing sports is directly connected with personality. It's suggested that extreme activities make us stronger, but there is also the opposite opinion. In this essay I'll discuss this issue.

I strongly believe that practicing action sports can form the character. First of all, by performing feats people get to know the limit of their courage and can overcome feeling of fear. For example, while jumping off cliffs , person can fight the acrophobia. Secondly , such activities allow people to experience the rush of high , which they are not able to get in a daily routine. For instance, during the extreme biking , the level of endorphins is increasing and create the stress resistance. Finally , adventure sports develop communication skills. For example , water rafting teaches people how to work in a team.

On the other hand, such extreme activities are dangerous . At first, fans of these sports risk sustaining damage to their bodies. For example, they can easily break the limbs. Moreover , some people become crazy by searching new adrenaline. For instance ,many extreme sportsmen start taking drugs.

However , every dangerous sport presupposes the equipment to avoid the accidents. Also, these sports give enough thrill and there is no need to use special medicaments.

To conclude , extreme sports give people the opportunity to create a strong personality, with that we should not forget about the high level of risk.
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Сообщение English Guru » 14.04.2015, 14:44

Alina0123 писал(а):help to a person
help a person

Alina0123 писал(а):such activities assist him to understand
them / him or her

Alina0123 писал(а):on the contrary, there are people who don't accept
Лучше on the other hand

Alina0123 писал(а):find this business motivating even
even motivating

Alina0123 писал(а):i guess that
разговорная фраза

Alina0123 писал(а):some people think that extreme kinds of sport help to a person to become more self-collected and strong both physically and mentally. however, others think differently, so who is right? i agree with this statement and think that high-risk sport makes a human to overcome himself in some way. it certainly gives an opportunity for self-development and getting new experiences.
moreover, extreme sports help to a person to feel alive and strengthen the belief in one's power. such activities assist him to understand the sense of life better.

У вас отсутствует оформление текста и заглавные буквы, видимо, вы писали с телефона. Вот этот кусок должен быть поделен на 2 абзаца. Второй абзац - I agree with...

Alina0123, не смотря на Ваше оформление, мне очень понравилось эссе. Оно легко читается, аргументы отличные, не высосанные из пальца. Учтите ошибки и абзацы, пишите с большой буквы.

Учитывая поблажки, ставлю 14/14
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Сообщение English Guru » 14.04.2015, 14:50

Andrey писал(а):I'll
Не сокращайте в эссе. Пишите I will

Andrey писал(а):can overcome feeling of fear
the feeling of

Andrey писал(а):person can fight the acrophobia
a person

Andrey писал(а):the level of endorphins is increasing and create
creating

Сегодня у всех пруха, проверяю эссе, у всех высокие баллы ))) :smile:

Andrey, 14/14
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Сообщение Andrey » 14.04.2015, 17:52

Thank you very much, indeed! :smile:
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Сообщение Alina0123 » 16.04.2015, 20:46

Спасибо большое за разбор!) Да, Вы правы, в эссе должен быть еще один абзац. Ошибки учту)
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  • 1

Сообщение alexstrinda » 21.10.2015, 00:47

Решил выбрать другую сторону, а то все согласны....

There are people who believe that by taking up extreme sports one can form a strong personality, become determined and ambitious. Others claim that unnecessary risk has little to do with sports, let alone building character. Can extreme sports turn one into a real man or woman?

In my opinion, extreme sports do not aid in building one’s character. First, true character is revealed not in accepting unnecessary risk, but rather in dealing with mundane chores, which are less appealing yet require a lot of effort and hardwork. Second, unlike traditional sports, extreme ones might end up with a severe injury thus affecting the future life of a person. There seems to be little benefit in sports that can instantly turn you into a disabled person for the rest of your life.

On the other hand, there are others who think that by doing extreme sports they improve themselves. They argue that consciously putting one’s life at risk and accepting the consequences make one responsible and confident.

I cannot agree with this opinion. A lot of people can and do accept risks on a daily basis - policemen, firefighters and medical staff working with infectious people. Yet all of them, while putting their own lives in danger, help others. And this is the real mark of true character.

All facts considered I would say that it takes more than just putting your life at stake while doing sports to improve yourself. It is what you do to help others that helps you to build your character.
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Сообщение English Guru » 21.10.2015, 10:41

alexstrinda, это очень круто, высокий уровень, ошибок нет! :cool:
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Some people think that extreme sports help to build character.

Сообщение katyavan9 » 09.02.2016, 23:02

It is common knowledge that sport is very useful for our physical health and also makes our character stronger.Extreme sports are ons of the most popular activities in our days. In connection with this fact there are two groups of people: those who convinced that this kind of sport is a great thing and those who are against these risky activities.
To my mind, doing extreme sports are rather needless activity. First of all, it is very dangerous. People can seriously injure themselves or even die while doing extreme sports. More than that, many psychologists claim that dangerous activities can cause serious mental illness. People involved in extreme sports feel lack of adrenalin in their blood. They do sports because they need to compensate this shortage. Many experts say that passion on this risky activities can become the real addiction.
However, there are people who believe that dangerous kind of sport is important for the society. They are sure risky kinds of activities help us build a strong character.
Personally, I cannot agree with this opinion. There are many other activities to do which are not dangerous and help to improve character as well as extreme sports. For example, politics.
In conclusion I would like to say that if you want to build a strong character, you do not need to do exactly extreme sports. There are many other interesting activities to do, which do not put your life in danger.
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Сообщение English Guru » 10.02.2016, 12:06

katyavan9 писал(а):ons
Sp: one

katyavan9 писал(а):those who convinced that
Gr: are convinced

katyavan9 писал(а):doing ... are rather needless activity
Gr: is a rather needless activity

katyavan9 писал(а):passion on
Lex: passion for http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/passion

katyavan9 писал(а):However, there are people who believe that dangerous kind of sport is important for the society. They are sure risky kinds of activities help us build a strong character.
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