Сочинение на тему "part-time job and school"

[karina_mia]

By Ildar

Studying at school takes up a lot of time and effort. That is why some teenagers prefer not to take up part-time jobs, concentrating on studying. However, some people think that there is nothing with the desire to make some money.

In my opinion, part-time jobs have a lot of advantages. To begin with, they help us become independent and responsible, so if you do not want to live off your parents the whole life, looking for a temporary job is the best option. Furthermore, due to part-time jobs youngsters can learn how to cooperate and get along with people. Finally, what can be better, than realizing that you can buy things for your honestly earned money?

On the other hand, part-time jobs are often criticized because they distract students from studying. Another argument against taking up a temporary job is that teenagers do not have enough time to do their homework and start falling behind their classmates and thus get blamed or even expelled.

I cannot agree with this opinion. If a person is determined to do well at school and make some money, time is the only he has to cope with. Young people who work at part-time jobs are usually very optimistic and persistent. They always know what they want and never leave things half done.

To sum up, I would say that working at a part-time job is a great experience because it helps people realize that money do not grow on trees.

[English Guru]

if you

than realizing that you can buy things

В эссе на ЕГЭ нельзя обращаться напрямую к читателю YOU, следует использовать: a person, someone, people, he or she...

time is the only he has to cope with.

time is the only thing he or she has to cope with. Нельзя писать только о лицах мужского пола, если вы, конечно, не сексист!

money do not grow on trees.

Грамматика: money does not - money, news, advice - всегда единственное число в английском языке.

Эссе заслуживает 12-13 баллов из 14.

[Jaur]

There is an opinion that working part-time when a person is still in school gives extra opportunities and advandages, however not everyone share it. Others vouch for concentrating on studying. Which ones of them is right?
In my opinion working part-time during scholaship is much better. First of all, it gives the opportunity to save some money for colleage or university if his or her parents couldn’t give a hand or he or she just want to be more independent. Secondly, it will give a chance to realise what do they really want to be – maybe a person would like to skip higher education and get a job right after graduating from school. Also it is a chance to make a lot of friends outside their social circle, which would benefit later on.
To get a valid conclusion we shouldn’t neglect the arguments for the other point of view. The others side with studying thoroughly as an only way to get a well-paid and intresting job. I disagree with that. Even though studying is a necessity, having practice as a trainee or a part-timer would benefit as well. Many employers even value work experience above education.
To sum up all written above I would like to say that it is better to work part-time while still studying at school, but what also is important that it won’t hurt person’s schooling.

[Anastasia]

in school

at school

not everyone share it

shares

Which ones of them is right?

are right тогда уж

if his or her parents couldn’t give a hand or he or she just want

Тут с временами ерунда: поставьте can't и wants

it will give a chance to realise what do they really want to be

do - лишний

The others side

The other side

To sum up all written above I would like to say

Поставьте заптую после To sum up all written above,

person’s schooling.

a person's schooling.

У вас отличная лексика, подчистите грамматику!

[Shadow804]

И еще scholarship - это стипендия, а не обучение в школе, поэтому working part-time during scholarship звучит странно)

colleage - коллега, а не колледж)

эти описки могут стоить вам балла!

The others side with studying thoroughly as an only way to get a well-paid and intresting job

as the only way - единственный способ

[Jaur]

Jaur писал(а):
not everyone share it
shares

Иногда путаю. У нас everyone - мн.ч, а everybody|anybody - ед. ч?

Jaur писал(а):
The others side
The other side

Тут side - глагол. Хотя я подозревал что это вызовет сомнения. Типа "Другие принимают такую точку зрения..." Хотя ваш вариант или мой - неважно.

эти описки могут стоить вам балла!

Спасибо за заметки, как "колледж" пишется я вообще не представлял если честно, в переводчик не лез. Видимо лучше избегать такого.

as the only way - единственный способ

Но в данном-то случае подразумевается что это НЕ единственный способ. Но, скорее всего, я не прав - давно не писал что-то настолько длинное )


!!! Забыл - а вместо his or her THEM|they нормально писать? У меня по этому поводу сомнения.

[Anastasia]

Иногда путаю. У нас everyone - мн.ч, а everybody|anybody - ед. ч?

В английском языке все три вышеперечисленных слова ед.ч.

!!! Забыл - а вместо his or her THEM|they нормально писать? У меня по этому поводу сомнения.

да, правильно

[Shadow804]

Jaur, да, если не знаете, как пишется слово, лучше замените на что-то знакомое. Особенно на ЕГЭ, когда нет возможности залезть в словарь. То же самое с грамматикой: не уверены - стройте предложение по-другому.

[Anton Korchagin]

There are different opinions on the problem of part-time job for teenagers. Some people believe that it is good experience for young generation, while others think it has more negative effects.
I personally think that teenagers should work if they want to, and can explain why. Firstly, proves their independence from parents, and gives youngsters a sense of freedom. Secondly, it teaches teenagers to organize their time and manage their own money. Finally, a part-time job makes teens more responsible and mature.
However, many people think that it is not a good idea to use teenagers for a part-time job. To begin with, they claim that it distract teens from school. Next, they believe that it can have a bad influence on teenagers health, for example, brain and nervous system.
I disagree with opinions of my potential opponents. First of all, many teenagers work on the Internet, for example, in online shops. This kind of a part-time job gives more free time for studying and preparing for exams. Moreover, some kinds of a part-time job gives any advantages, for example, if a teenager works in some Internet company it can be a useful introduction to future hard work.
In conclusion, we understand that the question of part-time job for young generation has different opinions. Nevertheless, I am strongly convinced than teenagers can benefit from having part-time job.



Помогите и оцените: стоит ли брать это как вариант для егэ