A person can have only one true friend - Эссе

[karina_mia]

By Ildar

Friendship is an essential part of our life and thus a dispute arises between people over how many friends a person needs to live a full life. Some people think a true friendship can be only between two human beings. Others disagree; they believe having a lot of friends has many advantages.

As for me, I think there can be only one true and loyal friend. To begin with, secrets and ideas shared with each other are unlikely to spread because a person would easily find out who did it. Furthermore, there is a higher level of trust and confidentiality between two people as helping each other and solving common problems is much more genuine and sincere. Finally, a friendship between two human beings is likely to last longer because it is easier to maintain good relationships with one person rather than many people.

On the other hand, some people claim that a person needs a lot of friends. In their mind, living a full life means having a lot of friends because there will be lots of fun and joy.

I cannot agree with these people. Having fun with one person will not be a problem at all if you find common interests. Only a true friend can support your interests no matter what a person is interested in. A true friendship between two people ensures a high level of trust and support.

To sum up, I would say that it is very important to find a person with whom you can easily share a deep level of interaction, with whom you can share both joy and grief.

[English Guru]

Само сочинение, как авторское произведение, мне не понравилось. Где аргументация, что нельзя делиться сокровенными проблемами с 3-10 людьми? Почему они должны разбалтывать секреты? Почему высокий уровень доверия возникает только между двумя людьми?

Обычно в таких сочинениях пишут, что друзей много, а настоящий друг - один.

"Я думаю, что может быть только один верный друг. Во-первых, секреты не будут распространяться..." Это аргументация чего? Докажите, что верный друг может быть только один.

a person needs a lot of friends.

Разве с этим можно спорить? Вы же опровергаете...

Having fun with one person will not be a problem at all if you find common interests.

Считаю, что тема не раскрыта, либо раскрыта как-то банально. Ошибок нет.

[amerius]

People have been communicating since time immemorial. Today we still want to commune with somebody whose interests are the same. Everyone needs a friend. The popularity of social nets where people can find a friend increases. Does friendship mean only one true friend or you can have them a lot? Now I would like to express my point of view on this statement.
In my opinion, a person can have as much true friends as he wants. First of all, if a man is wonderful, he will have many the same friends. A person who helps people around always has many true friends. Secondly, people with many interests and hobbies have not only one friend. In each field a man needs anyone who can listen to him and to talk about something like art, sport or education.
On the other hand, some people believe that it is impossible to have many true friends. They say that almost all people can betray at the end. Besides, they think a person cannot burst between friends and have sufficiently time to spend it for them.
I strongly disagree with this statement, because if a person has many friends, he will know a lot of interesting things and will be more kind.
Despite other people’s opinion, I still believe that people can have not only one true friend. Friendship is a very good sense, so our planet will change in better side if we start be friends.

243 слова

[English Guru]

we still want to commune

Очень редкий глагол, ошибку ставить не буду, но to communicate выглядит гораздо лучше

or you can have them a lot?

лучше a lot of them, иначе двусмысленность небольшая

many the same friends

many similar friends, the same не ставим перед существительным

In each field a man needs anyone

someone по смыслу же

listen to him

to him or her

can betray at the end

in the end - в конце концов, at the end of ... - в конце чего-нибудь

have sufficiently time

неправильная часть речи, sufficient time или enough time

with this statement, because

запятая перед because не ставится

if a person has many friends, he will know

if a person has many friends, he or she will know

our planet will change in better side

change to the better

start be friends

start to be

Коэффициенты:

К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи): 2
К2 (организация текста): 3
К3 (лексика): 1
K4 (грамматика): 3
К5 (орфография и пунктуация): 1

ИТОГ: 10/14

[nastya9]

" a person can have as much true friends as he wants "
а здесь не as many as?

[English Guru]

nastya9, Спасибо, many, конечно же.

[vladtheimpaler]

People have been socializing since time immemorial. There are two opposite opinions concerning how many friends humans should have. Many people think that in everyone’s life the one best friend is necessary to be. While others claim that a person has to have a lot of mates. Who is right?

In my opinion, all people live in a society and this obliges them to communicate with a great amount of other human beings that is why people want to have many friends inherently. Firstly, having only one even the most gorgeous friend could be boring because people are inclined to become tired from each other and seeing the same face every day is exhausting. Furthermore, having fun is always easier when a person has got a huge company of close friends who can say all what they think without being laughed or despised by surrounding people.

On the other hand, millions of people around the world are convinced that the best friend is a must for everyone. They believe that a person can share secrets only with one friend who will never deceive.

I cannot agree with these people, humans are so controversial creatures and no one can predict their behavior. I think people should not rely on someone because even if two persons have close relations there is a risk that somebody betrays another.

In conclusion, I want to say that people have to choose friends carefully because if they do not they could be heartbroken.

[Shadow804]

vladtheimpaler, ваша продуктивность меня просто сразила:))

Добавлено спустя 25 минут 7 секунд:
vladtheimpaler,

how many friends humans should have

слово human чаще используется в качестве прилагательного. Поставьте лучше human beings.

in everyone’s life the one best friend is necessary to be

на мой взгляд, звучит коряво. Иногда лучше написать попроще, но так, чтобы вопросов не возникало, чем придумать что-то, но сомневаться, прокатит ли. Everyone should have a best friend. Или It is profoundly important for everyone to have a close/best friend.

While others claim that a person has to have a lot of mates

Не очень понятно использование to have to.

all people live in a society

society здесь - понятие общее, а потому лучше опустите артикль.

with a great amount of other human beings

with a lot of (amount обычно для неисчисляемых существительных)

to become tired from

to become tired of

without being laughed

being laughed at (чтобы над ними не смеялись)

if two persons have close relations there is a risk that somebody betrays another

that one of them will betray the other (1 из 2-х). значение another - другой, еще один. По аналогии с on the one hand/on the other hand. Тем более, что вы обозначили two persons.

А еще вы сами себе противоречите. Сначала говорите, что лучше иметь много друзей. Затем идет вторая точка зрения (про одного верного и лучшего друга), а потом, опровергая ее, вы вообще говорите, что ни на кого положиться нельзя (но тогда положиться нельзя и на ту компанию, в которой вы свободно делитесь сокровенными мыслями). Я бы абзац с вашим несогласием переписал по-другому. Здесь вы должны не согласиться с противоположной точкой зрения и подкрепить вашу. И потом, подставить может и компания людей. В общем, как-то поубедительнее хотелось бы предпоследний абзац.
Третий абзац можно было бы сделать немного полнее, если объем позволяет.

[English Guru]

Shadow804, vladtheimpaler, присоединяюсь к Шедоу

how many friends humans should have
слово human чаще используется в качестве прилагательного. Поставьте лучше human beings.

Да тут норм, ладно уж Вам, Shadow804

While others claim that a person has to have a lot of mates
Не очень понятно использование to have to.

Тоже норм, должен иметь. Непонятно, конечно, кому и что должен. Лучше взять needs

ДОБАВЛЮ ОТ СЕБЯ:

company of close friends who can say all what they think without

what - калька с русского языка, уберите. Вспомните Битлз: All what you need is love.

humans are so controversial creatures

So только если нет существительного. ЛИБО humans are so controversial, либо humans are such controversial creatures.

because if they do not they could be heartbroken.

because even if two persons have close relations there is a risk that somebody betrays another.

Кроме того, что сказал Shadow804, тут еще пропущена запятая перед they в первом случае и there во втором. Еще раз прочитайте о постановке запятых в условных предложениях: http://englishgu.ru/zapjatye-v-anglijskom/

Добавлено спустя 5 минут 34 секунды:
ИТОГ:

- 1 балл логика (возможно, слишком мягко)
- 1 балл грамматика
- 1 балл лексика

Сочинение достойно 11 баллов из 14. Возможно, 10 у особо строгих проверяющих.

[Анна56]

Friendship is one of the most important relationships in everyone`s life. Regarding this some people assume that a person can have only one genuine friend. But others believe that friendship can be maintained (divided)? among some people.

To my way of thinking, there can be one true friend. Firstly, one is always close with you and one is at your side in joy and in sorrow. Such a devoted friend never betrays you. Secondly, having many friends, a person does not have chance to devote time equally to all them. There will be one who you spend more time with. In addition, a man can not trust and reveal all his secrets every close friends, because somebody is more significant for him, somebody is less.

On the other hand, there are those who think that people can have more than one true friend. If you have multiple friends, you always will be able to obtain assistance and support.

I partly agree with this point of view, as virtually you will be supported by only best friend in bad times, but other 'true' friends will turn their back on you.

In conclusion, I am strongly convinced that a person can have only one genuine friend who cherish you unconditionally.

[English Guru]

that friendship can be maintained (divided)? among some people.

Оба слова не подходят, не понял, что вы хотите сказать...

Firstly, one is always close with you and one is at your side in joy and in sorrow. Such a devoted friend never betrays you.

слабый аргумент, вторая часть весьма спорная

devote time equally to all them

to them all - порядок слов

reveal all his secrets every close friends, because

запятая перед because не нужна, reveal ..... to every close friends

for him

Кто такой этот ОН? В сочинении используем ОБА пола: for him or her

If you have multiple friends, you always will be able to obtain assistance and support.

слабый контраргумент

you will be supported

обращение к читателю на you - моветон (дурной стиль)

you will be supported by only best friend

поставьте какой-нибудь артикль перед исчисляемым существительным friend

one genuine friend who cherish you

cherishes

In conclusion, I am strongly convinced that a person can have only one genuine friend who cherish you unconditionally.

Абзац не может состоять из одного предложения

-2 балла за решение коммуникативной задачи
-1 балл за организацию текста
-1 за лексику
-1 за грамматику

Итог: 9/14

[kimberly]

Я преподаватель и написала это эссе в качестве модели для своих учеников, и прежде всего, чтобы самой разобраться в формате. Прошу знатоков покритиковать, в первую очередь интересует содержание. За что могут снять баллы?

A person can have only one true friend.
Friendships play an important role in our lives and most people long for a special connection that is only possible between two close friends. True friendships are so rare that some people claim that this special bond can only be forged once in our life if at all. However, I believe that there are no obstacles to us having two or more true friends.
Human beings are complex creatures with various psychological needs and to satisfy these needs we might turn to different people. Shared memories, interests or lifestyles all help us to build up meaningful relationships. For example, with a childhood friend we can go down the memory lane and with someone sharing our hobby we can exchange experiences or spend time together. Both friends can be equally dear to our heart.
Some people say that a person is unlikely to have more than one close friend because nurturing a friendship takes a lot of time. Today’s hectic lifestyle leaves little scope for maintaining multiple relationships.
Nevertheless, as the need for companionship is among people’s basic needs , they might be willing to make an extra effort. In this, they are helped by modern technology, which makes it possible to stay in touch even if you are unable to make time for face-to-face meetings. A photo or a short message shows that a friends is thinking about you and this keeps the friendship going.
To sum up, there certainly can be more than one person that have a special place in one’s heart.

[English Guru]

1) Делите сочинение на 5 абзацев: http://englishgu.ru/struktura-opinion-essay-ege-c2/

2) Добавьте побольше linking words и шаблонных фраз.

И еще:

shows that a friends is thinking

3) Не могу удержаться, чтобы не прорекламировать свою книгу, она как раз об этом!

P.S. для соблюдения чистоты форума, я скоро перенесу Вашу тему в "эссе true friend".

[kimberly]

Спасибо за быстрый ответ English Guru!
В моем сочинении 5 абзацев, я делала вынос, чтобы было понятнее, но форматирование форума этого не позволяет. 1-ый - интро, 2-й - мои аргументы за, 3-ий - аргументы других людей против, 4-ый - мое опровержение, 5-ый - заключение.
Что касается "your friend is thinking", то что с этим не так? Например, эта ссылка показывает употребление the Present Continuous именно в этом контексте
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20130518001022AAwd29z
Мне показалось, что в эссе на эту тему, которые на этом форуме представлены, происходит подмена вопроса, т.е. отвечают на вопрос "Нужно\полезно иметь много близких друзей?" в то время как вопрос "Возможно ли иметь много близких друзей?" Я старалась на этот вопрос отвечать.

[English Guru]

kimberly, в предложении "... a friends is thinking" у Вас опечатка, ведь существительное friends не может согласовываться с глаголом в ед. ч.

Да, у Вас эссе 100% по теме, именно поэтому я и хочу перенести Вашу работу.

[kimberly]

А, понятно. Это моя любимая ошибка:-)

[natalja]

Some people think that you can have only one true friend.

Different people feel different about friendship. Some say that genuine friendship dwells only between two people. Others find such point of view old-fashioned, claiming that one can have many true friends.
Personally, I share Aristotle’s words, “What is a friend? A single soul, dwelling in two bodies.” In this regard, friendship is understood as a unique blend of trust, mutual respect, love, affection and strong attachment. Also, genuine friendship implies deep devotion. It is when your friend assures to be your side in every emotional crisis and comes to rescue you from the worst phase of life. Your emotional safety and comfort is a matter of his/her greatest concern. True friendship is about feeling each other. Definitely, this is not for a crowd.
Opponents claim that similar interests and hobbies, good memories, loads of fun and roaming together are the main signs of friendship. Considering people psychologically different, they assume that one might live a more pleasant life sharing such experiences with a wider range of individuals.
I would object saying that, in this case, the notion of friendship has been substituted with the notion of companionship. And, companionship is not bad at all. On the contrary, I would call it a valuable means teaching children and teenagers to socialize. Moreover, such relationship could become a first step to a genuine friendship, which is far from just being entertainment.
Summing up, I want to stress that true friendship exists only between two people. Genuine friendship does not mean meeting up often. It implies selflessness, devotion, readiness and willingness to serve your soul mate. Undoubtedly, this is only two human beings’ condition. (272)

[English Guru]

natalja, Сначала сократите эссе. 272 слова - это оценка 0 баллов. В эссе не должно быть больше 270 слов.

[natalja]

в эссе мб 10% ниже нижней границы и 10% выше высшей границы, те 180-275 слов. основание для этого суждения-нормативные документы зтого года

[English Guru]

Да точно, правильно 275 слов, а не 270. Отвечал ночью, спать надо больше. Ок, проверю до понедельника!

P.S. И все равно, зачем так много писать? The more we write, the more mistakes we make.