Some people think that young people should follow in their parents' footsteps ... Эссе

[karina_mia]

By Ildar

Тема сочинения: Some people think that young people should follow in their parents' footsteps when choosing a profession.

Nowadays it is rather hard to choose the right profession for young people because there are so many occupations in the world. Some teenagers simply follow in their parents’ footsteps when choosing a career without thinking through. However, some people think that choosing a profession should depend on interests and individual qualities.

As for me, I think a person should choose a profession independently. To begin with, people are different let alone their interests, so consideration one’s strong points and individual qualities when choosing a profession is very important. Furthermore, if a person chooses the career he or she is fond of, the likelihood of becoming successful and independent is higher because this person will always know what to do and never leave things half done.

On the other hand, some people claim that following in parents’ footsteps when choosing a profession gives more chances to gain success easily and fast. In their mind, parents will always help and encourage their children with the occupation, so the first steps of a career ladder will be easy.

I cannot agree with these people. If a person chooses the career he or she really likes and will never give up on anything, becoming successful will be a matter of time because one will do the best to achieve great accomplishments.

To sum up, I would say that picking the right profession is very important. The occupation that tailors to one’s interests and hobbies will bring a lot of satisfaction and help become a successful person.

[English Guru]

Some teenagers simply follow in their parents’ footsteps when choosing a career

По сложившейся традии проверки эссе, первый абзац должен не должен повторять тему эссе полностью. Требуется сильнее перефразировать.

so consideration one’s strong points

considering or putting into consideration

parents will always help and encourage their children with the occupation

поскольку help with бывает, а encourage with не бывает, то лучше поменять слова местами: parents will always encourage and help their children with the occupation. А еще лучше убрать слово encourage совсем.

will never give up on anything

give up без предлога

If a person chooses the career he or she really likes and will never give up on anything

Не понял постановки времён: скорее всего, тут нужно If a person chooses the career he or she really likes and never gives up anything

[IrinaLos]

Some people think that young people should follow in their parents` footsteps when choosing a profession
The Choice of our future profession is a very exciting and important process. Some people think that it is better to follow parents` footsteps when choosing a profession. I agree with them.
Firstly, your parents` are always ready to share their experience with you, to help you, to give you some advice. Secondly, you knowwhat to expect from your future profession. You must have seen how your parents usually work, you know about all advantages and disadvantages of their profession etc. Thirdly, it makes family relationships better. You will always have something to discuss with your family. I think, The same professions bring people together.
On the other hand, some people claim that if son`s or daughter`s and their parents` professions are the same it may destroy good family relationships. for example, sometimes parents` control and desire to help become annoying and intrusive. also there are a lot professional situations where our and our parents` opiniondiffer and it causes problems not only at work but in the family.
It makes sense, but such situations cannot affect the family if it is really loving one. If you love your parents you can put up with their advice or control, because they just want to help you. Besides, it is not a good idea to bring work problems into the family.
Despite other people`s opinion, I am still convinced that following parents` footsteps is useful, it improves relationships of the family, gives us some confidence in our future. I believe, even if some difficulties appear, they can be overcome.

[English Guru]

Старайтесь не создавать новые темы, а постить Ваши эссе в соответсвующие темы. Это все уже есть на форуме. Все эссе проверю до конца недели и перемещу в нужные топики.

[IrinaLos]

English Guru, извините, я пока новичок. Впредь буду знать. Большое спасибо!)

[English Guru]

Оффтипик: Апостроф находится на клавиатуре на букве Э в английской раскладке и выглядит так: '
А вот это `, что около буквы ё, это знак тяжелого ударения.

Some people think that it is better to follow parents` footsteps when choosing a profession.

тема плохо перефразирована, сразу потеря одного балла

your parents`

апостроф - лишний

knowwhat

know what

if son`s or daughter`s and their parents` professions

очень некрасивая фраза, перефразируйте

parents` control and desire to help become

becomes

our and our parents` opiniondiffer

our and our parents` opinions differ

also there are a lot professional situations

С большой буквы + a lot of

such situations cannot affect the family if it is really loving one

a loving one

or control, because they just want to help you.

Лишняя запятая

-1 балл за решение коммуникативной задачи
-1 балл за орфографию и пунктуацию
-1 балл за лексику
-1 балл за грамматику

10/14 Неплохая работа, если покритиковать, я бы сказал, что она немного поверхностная, кто-то мог бы и занизить оценку...

[Andrey]

Could you evaluate it, please... The topic is 'to follow the advice of parents and friends'

Nowadays, there are many opportunities to find a job. It is believed a person should follow the advice of his relatives or mates in the matter of choosing a profession. However, there is a different opinion. In this essay I will discuss this issue.

In my opinion, nobody should be influenced by his family members. Firstly, a man must count his personal interests and desires when he determines a future career. In this case, a person should not accept the vision even of the closest human beings. Moreover, there is a generation gap which we cannot ignore. Person’s surrounding may have no experience in modern occupations so they should not give him directions in career building.

From the opposite side, friends and relatives are able to help one with profession selection. Thus, close people observe man’s skills and talents. Therefore, they could influence on the person’s choice in a good way. They can distinguish things which one doing well and prompt him how to use it.

Nevertheless, I strongly believe that despite the fact that relatives’ ability to find person’s strong sides, only a man is responsible for his life and future. Unfortunately, family and friends are not constant so you cannot let them decide your fate. A human being should be independent.

To conclude, there are different points of view on the problem of career choosing. Personally, I suggest that one have to be free when he makes an important decision in life but everybody decides himself.

[English Guru]

influenced by his family members

by his or her family members - не допускаем сексизм (много раз в эссе)

no experience in modern occupations so they should not give

Поставьте запятую перед so

which one doing well and prompt him how to use it.

is doing / does

to find person’s strong sides

a person’s

family and friends are not constant so you cannot let them decide

Поставьте запятую перед so

I suggest that one have to be free

one has

Andrey, эссе сложновато для восприятия. Вы случайно сначала не по-русски пишите, а потом переводите на английский? При такой стратегии получаются "тяжелые эссе".

-1 балл за грамматику
-1 балл за решение коммуникативной задачи (стиль, сексизм)

Связки, лексика - очень хорошо!

12/14

[Andrey]

Thank you a lot! Нет, по-русски не пишу, как-то сразу в таком русле получается. Скажите, слова, обозначающие людей: everybody, everyone, one, etc. они считаются мужского рода или нужно пояснять his/him/her. Как лучше избежать этого "сексизма" ?

[English Guru]

Сами посудите, как слова, обозначающие людей: everybody, everyone, one, etc могут быть мужского рода? В английском языке процветает политкоректность, равноправие полов и т.д.

В эссе можно писать he/him/his только если пишите про мужчину (man) или про друга мужского пола (friend), дядю, брата и др.

В остальных случаях требуется указать оба пола или местоимение they.

# Someone will find their / his or her book.

[Виктория К]

There is no doubt that to become successful, one should have a good profession. However , does doing what your parents do guarantee you a brilliant career in the future?
To my mind, a teenager should make a choice depending on personal talents and abilities. To begin with, children are not always likely to take after their parents, so they can be not as good at some subjects or sciences as their parents are. Furthermore, if a youngster is fond of doing a particular kind of things, he or she will definitely succeed in career. Last but not least, if a person chooses a profession just because there is such a tradition in the family, it may lead to depression and disappointment.
On the other hand, some people claim that following in parents’ footsteps provides lots of opportunities. In their opinion, caring parents will always give a helping hand. Moreover, their advice is sure to add wings.
Despite all these facts, I strongly believe that when it comes to choosing a profession, one should listen to his or her heart. Loving relatives will support their offsprings anyway. Also, neither advice nor assistance is going to do you good if you do not feel like working in that very sphere.
To sum up I would like to say that making a right decision is vitally important. The combination of your own interests and parents' encouragement makes a perfect base for a future success.

[kimberly]

Виктория, отличное эссе! Масса правильных словосочетаний, разумные идеи, легко читается.
Я споткнулась только в двух местах.
Furthermore, if a youngster is fond of doing a particular kind of things, he or she will definitely succeed in career.
Не совсем ясно, почему это противоречит following in your parents footsteps. Значит ли это, что детям обязательно нравится не то, чем родители занимаются, а что-то другое? Тогда надо было это разъяснить: Children are not necessarily keen on their parent's job, and that may prevent them from making a good career in the future.
Также третьем параграфе говорится "some people claim ", " In their opinion", а в опровержение "Despite all these facts". Но эти идеи и не преподносились как факты!
It's just a couple of corrections to make your essay perfect!

[Виктория К]

Спасибо большое за корректировки и мнение! Обязательно учту))

[Mary_]

Тема "Some people think that young people should follow in their parents' footsteps when choosing a profession".

The problem of choosing a profession is always very important for youngsters. Every teenager has the period of her or his life when she or he should make a choice of future occupation. However, some adults believe that their children have to follow in parents' footsteps.
In my opinion, any teenager should choose a job which corresponds to talents and interests of this person. First of all, a favourite job brings pleasure and let be high-spirited; moreover, it is good for health. What is more, the choice of occupation by yourself helps to be an independent and responsible person in the modern world.
Nevertheless, teenagers do not often have enough life experience to make an important decision. Furthermore, parents always help their children in a difficult situation which may happen at work. Besides, there is an opinion, if you have a similar job with your mother or father, you will make a career faster.
Personally, I cannot agree with this point of view because teenagers should not copy the life of their parents. Countless surveys show that young people want to create their own life by themselves.
To sum up, I would like to stress that there are various opinions on this problem but I strongly believe that teenagers should choose a profession which will bring success and satisfaction.

Слов 219

[Миляуша]

Some people think that young people should follow in their parents' footsteps when choosing a profession.
Nowadays young people have to make a choice about their future profession very early. Actually, it’s quite difficult for many of them. There is an opinion that young people should follow parents’ footstep when choosing a profession.
First of all, I’d like to say that mainly children have the same vocation as their parents. There for children usually have the similar destiny. The other point is that atmosphere, where child has grown up, influences at his character a lot. I mean that parenting is one of the most important thing, which help to build character. Finally, it makes family relationships better, closer and stronger. I suppose that the same profession bring people together, because people in family have the same interests and they always have something to talk about.
But other people believe that everybody is individual and should make such kind of choice independently. They say that person should count his or her personal interests and desires.
I agree with this opinion too, but I consider that if person choose the same profession as his or her parents, they always will be ready to share their experience and knowledge.
In conclusion, I want to add that despite of the fact that every teenager patiently want to be independent and free, following parents’ example is more sensible and reliable way of achieving a good success.
245 cлов

[Миляуша]

проверьте, пожалуйста!

[English Guru]

I’d like

Не сокращайте в эссе, пишите would

There for

Therefore,
Сложно понять природу этой ошибки...Вам диктовали?)

The other point is that atmosphere, where child has grown up,

Запятые не нужны
a child - грамматическая ошибка

influences at his character a lot.

Глагол influence используется бе предлога

one of the most important thing, which help to build character.

things
запятая не нужна
helps - грубая грамматическая ошибка

the same profession bring people together,

brings

people together, because people in family have the same interests

Лишняя запятая перед because
in a family - любое исчисляемое неабстрактное существительное должно иметь артикль.

if person choose

a person
chooses

they always will be ready

they will always be ready - порядок слов

despite of the fact

1) in spite of the fact
2) despite the fact

every teenager patiently want to be

wants

is more sensible and reliable way

is a more ...

achieving a good success.

achieving success

Миляуша, сочинение неплохое, но много ошибок начального уровня. прочитайте параграфы 3,8,24
http://englishgu.ru/online-uchebnik-po-angliyskomu/

В сочинении не отражено, что young people should follow in their parents' footsteps в той части, что они ДОЛЖНЫ следовать совету. Где это у Вас? В концовке следует написать, что Вы говорите именно про профессию/карьеру.

Вам всё понятно?

[Luckiest9]

Some people believe that youth should followed by parents. Others suppose that choosing a profession defends on personal preferences. I am going to express my point of view about this subject.

As for me, I am fond of non-rellance. To begin with, everybody has different qualities and their own wish, so ponder one’s strong points and personal qualities when choosing a career path is very important. Then we can say that person will successful if the career path he or she fond of.

Nevertheless, some people have another point of view. They suppose that there is nothing better than follow through by parents’ footsteps. In their mind, parents understand own children better they are.

Despite this fact I respect, I hardly agree with these people because independency will be acquired by taking decision. Followed by parents’ footsteps is a sign of undermines one’s personal authority. Making a independent decision reduced to successful self-realization. It is going to be obvious when you will make better use of time.

To cut the long story short, you taking decision independently and your decisions influence on your future career and also allow be realized. Either followed by parents or not is your own wish.

[English Guru]

should followed by parents.

be followed, видимо?

defends on

depends on ??

non-rellance

нет такого слова

ponder one’s strong

pondering

that person will successful

a person ... will be

path he or she fond of.

is fond of

As for me, I am fond of non-rellance. To begin with, everybody has different qualities and their own wish, so ponder one’s strong points and personal qualities when choosing a career path is very important. Then we can say that person will successful if the career path he or she fond o

МАЛО аргументов!

there is nothing better than follow through

following

Nevertheless, some people have another point of view. They suppose that there is nothing better than follow through by parents’ footsteps. In their mind, parents understand own children better they are.

ДОБАВЬТЕ еще один аргумент.

is a sign of undermines one’s personal authority.

when you will make better use of time.

Лучше убрать will

To cut the long story short

a long story

influence on your future career

глагол influence - без предлога

nd also allow be

allow to be

[Egarmina]

Nowadays choice of profession is the most important decision in our life.Some people think that children should choose profession like their parents.Others suppose that kids should make a choice independently.

To my way of thinking,a person should opts a kind of profession yourself.First of all,every person should choose a profession which he likes.Due to the fact that if people do a work which they like,they achieve the success easily.Furthermore,children should understand that career choice affect their lives.So only they can feel connection with their future profession.Finally,responsibility and commitment are the best qualities of people.But these traits are developed difficulty.So people should make important decisions since their childhood.

However,others disagree.They say that parents know what is better for their children thanks to their life experience.Also they are sure that parents pass on inherited abilities.

I strongly disagree with such opinions.What they forget is that every person has right to shoose.When the say about experience of life they forget that all people can make mistakes.So if they err,their children will suffer all life.

In conclusion,i would like to say that choice of profession is a personal decision.