Английский форум › Помощь › Бесплатная подготовка к ОГЭ и ЕГЭ › Эссе по английскому языку: ЕГЭ C2
По сложившейся традии проверки эссе, первый абзац должен не должен повторять тему эссе полностью. Требуется сильнее перефразировать.Ildar писал(а):Some teenagers simply follow in their parents’ footsteps when choosing a career
considering or putting into considerationIldar писал(а):so consideration one’s strong points
поскольку help with бывает, а encourage with не бывает, то лучше поменять слова местами: parents will always encourage and help their children with the occupation. А еще лучше убрать слово encourage совсем.Ildar писал(а):parents will always help and encourage their children with the occupation
give up без предлогаIldar писал(а):will never give up on anything
Не понял постановки времён: скорее всего, тут нужно If a person chooses the career he or she really likes and never gives up anythingIldar писал(а):If a person chooses the career he or she really likes and will never give up on anything
тема плохо перефразирована, сразу потеря одного баллаIrinaLos писал(а):Some people think that it is better to follow parents` footsteps when choosing a profession.
апостроф - лишнийIrinaLos писал(а):your parents`
know whatIrinaLos писал(а):knowwhat
очень некрасивая фраза, перефразируйтеIrinaLos писал(а):if son`s or daughter`s and their parents` professions
becomesIrinaLos писал(а):parents` control and desire to help become
our and our parents` opinions differIrinaLos писал(а):our and our parents` opiniondiffer
С большой буквы + a lot ofIrinaLos писал(а):also there are a lot professional situations
a loving oneIrinaLos писал(а):such situations cannot affect the family if it is really loving one
Лишняя запятаяIrinaLos писал(а):or control, because they just want to help you.
by his or her family members - не допускаем сексизмAndrey писал(а):influenced by his family members
Поставьте запятую перед soAndrey писал(а):no experience in modern occupations so they should not give
is doing / doesAndrey писал(а):which one doing well and prompt him how to use it.
a person’sAndrey писал(а):to find person’s strong sides
Поставьте запятую перед soAndrey писал(а):family and friends are not constant so you cannot let them decide
one hasAndrey писал(а):I suggest that one have to be free
Не сокращайте в эссе, пишите wouldМиляуша писал(а):I’d like
Therefore,Миляуша писал(а):There for
Запятые не нужныМиляуша писал(а):The other point is that atmosphere, where child has grown up,
Глагол influence используется бе предлогаМиляуша писал(а):influences at his character a lot.
thingsМиляуша писал(а):one of the most important thing, which help to build character.
bringsМиляуша писал(а):the same profession bring people together,
Лишняя запятая перед becauseМиляуша писал(а):people together, because people in family have the same interests
a personМиляуша писал(а):if person choose
they will always be ready - порядок словМиляуша писал(а):they always will be ready
1) in spite of the factМиляуша писал(а):despite of the fact
wantsМиляуша писал(а):every teenager patiently want to be
is a more ...Миляуша писал(а):is more sensible and reliable way
achieving successМиляуша писал(а):achieving a good success.
be followed, видимо?Luckiest9 писал(а):should followed by parents.
depends on ??Luckiest9 писал(а):defends on
нет такого словаLuckiest9 писал(а):non-rellance
ponderingLuckiest9 писал(а):ponder one’s strong
a person ... will beLuckiest9 писал(а):that person will successful
is fond ofLuckiest9 писал(а):path he or she fond of.
МАЛО аргументов!Luckiest9 писал(а):As for me, I am fond of non-rellance. To begin with, everybody has different qualities and their own wish, so ponder one’s strong points and personal qualities when choosing a career path is very important. Then we can say that person will successful if the career path he or she fond o
followingLuckiest9 писал(а):there is nothing better than follow through
ДОБАВЬТЕ еще один аргумент.Luckiest9 писал(а):Nevertheless, some people have another point of view. They suppose that there is nothing better than follow through by parents’ footsteps. In their mind, parents understand own children better they are.
Luckiest9 писал(а):is a sign of undermines one’s personal authority.
Лучше убрать willLuckiest9 писал(а):when you will make better use of time.
a long storyLuckiest9 писал(а):To cut the long story short
глагол influence - без предлогаLuckiest9 писал(а):influence on your future career
allow to beLuckiest9 писал(а):nd also allow be