Education polishes good natures and corrects bad ones - Эссе

[karina_mia]

Education polishes good natures and corrects bad ones
By Ildar

The importance of education cannot be exaggerated: it helps make a good career, enables to gain success easily. However, does the education make us responsible and determined? Can it help get rid of bad habits and gain new ones?

As for me, education greatly develops character qualities such as decisiveness, persistence and determination. To begin with, education frequently takes place under the guidance of a teacher, so students have to get used to discipline and attentiveness to achieve good results in studying subjects. Furthermore, there is always a competition between youngsters over getting assignments done faster or winning different kinds of sport championships, which immediately makes adjust students to rivalry and competition. Finally, education teaches us how to be tolerant, patient and hard working.

On the other hand, some people claim that education does not make us responsible or determined. Firstly, becoming successful and persistent totally depends on a person, so education has nothing to do with developing one’s character. Secondly, students can be influenced by some teenagers and thus gain bad habits such as drinking alcohol, smoking or using foul language.

I cannot agree with these people. Even though a lot of things depend on a person only, there is something education can greatly help with: it teaches how to cope with different problems, helps realize what a person is interested in and thus enables one to find out what he or she is good at.

To sum up, I would say that getting education is a very important part of our life. Not only does it easily help make a good career, but it is also a great way to improve character and find out one’s talents and interests.

[English Guru]

enables to gain success easily

enable требует дополнения (object), например enables us to ...

which immediately makes adjust students to rivalry

makes adjust students - Не понял... adjust - глагол, возможно, makes students adjust или makes students well-adjusted...

Отличная работа, особенно концовка!

[dasha16]

In our modern world education plays a very important role in socialization of a person. Some people think that education helps us to develop good human qualities and to correct bad characteristics such as laziness, bad manners and so on. But others people disagree with this statement. So where is the true?

In my personal opinion, education has a really good effect on us. Firstly, it develops very important qualities like hard working, assiduity, inquisitiveness and self-confidence. I think, it all helps us to achieve the success. The second argument to support my point of view is ability of education to bring up in us an intelligent person. With the help of education we will not be barbarians who can only destroy surrounding world.
On the other hand, some people claim that education cannot influence our personality. They say that our personal characteristics are given us at birth and we are not able to change it.

I strongly disagree with this statement. Scientists has proved long ago that our personality is forming for the whole life under pressure of social factors such as family, friends and, of course, education.

So despite other people’s opinion, I am still convinced that education plays one of the main roles in standing our good nature and correcting bad qualities.

[English Guru]

to correct bad characteristics such as laziness

Если мы говорим о характере, о его чертах, то используем слова traits или features, но не characteristics.

So where is the true?

truth - нужно существительное.

to achieve the success.

Без артикля the, to achieve success - устойчиво.

destroy surrounding world

the surrounding world

So despite

Запятая после so

education plays one of the main roles in standing our good nature

не понял, что это значит.

-2 балла за лексику (не повторяйте два раза "play a role")

ИТОГ: 12/14

[dasha16]

English Guru,

education plays one of the main roles in standing our good nature

Я хотела написать о том, что обучение играет одну из самых главных ролей в становлении хорошего характера(натуры).

Спасибо за проверку!

[English Guru]

dasha16, http://www.multitran.ru/c/m.exe?l1=1&l2=2&s=%F1%F2%E0%ED%EE%E2%EB%E5%ED%E8%E5