Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time..

[dasha16]

In our contemporary world there are so many stereotypes. One of them is that children should not be given a lot of free time. Many people think that child’s free time should be used for doing school work. So where is the middle way?

In my personal opinion, we should not be so strict parents and coerce children to do only school work. Children must be given a lot of free time which they need to use for doing other interesting things such as dance, singing, drawing, hockey, etc. Moreover, children are not robots. They need relax, change activity. They need in true childhood. I believe that to deprive a child of childhood is cruelly. Children should remember the happiest moments but not zealous doing school work.

On the other hand, some people claim that the more children will try to do their homework, the greater chance to be one of the best at school and get a key to a successful life.

I strongly disagree with this statement. Our future life does not depend on our good marks at school. It depends on our ability, talent and personal characteristics.

In conclusion, I want to say that I still believe in fact that children should be given happy childhood but not a lot of homework.

[English Guru]

In our contemporary world

Совет: обычно пишут in our modern world

we should not be so strict parents

we should not be so strict ИЛИ we should not be such strict parents

and coerce children

неплохое слово, но редкое, лучше force использовать

such as dance, singing, drawing, hockey, etc.

ну, dancing тоже, тогда уж

They need in true childhood

Лексика: to be in need of something = they are in need of true childhood

to deprive a child of childhood is cruelly.

cruel - тут требуется прилагательное, не смотря на русский перевод. Smoking is bad - курение - плохо.

Children should remember the happiest moments but not zealous

с трудом понял смысл фразы, видимо but not being zealous... лучше написать Children should remember the happiest moments but not hard work, иначе лексическая ошибка: remeber beig zealous, a не просто zealous. Да и вообще это слово имеет только положительный оттенок, а вам нужно подобрать слово с негативной коннотацией (смотрим на примерах по Лонгману).

that the more children will try to do their homework

the more children try - обычно пишем в настоящем времени

I still believe in fact

in the fact

given happy childhood

а happy childhood

- 1 балл за грамматику
- 1 балл за лексику

12/14 - хороший результат!

[karina_mia]

Перемещу сюда и сочинение Ildar, т.к. оно на эту же тему:
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work.

Nowadays teenagers like to waste their out-of-school time watching TV, playing video games or taking a nap. It is not surprising that homework is the last they want to spend several hours on. Some adults are against this kind of lifestyle; they believe children must devote all their free time to education.

In my opinion, parents should not be too strict about young people’s leisure time. To begin with, constantly sitting behind books is rather stressful and tiresome, so children can easily lose interest in education. Furthermore, allowing teenagers to do what they like enables their parents to find out what their kids’ talents and interests are. Finally, children are hyperactive creatures and thus devoting all free time to schoolwork is not a good option for kids’ growing body, as it needs lots of movement, adventures and excitement.

On the other hand, some adults think that children should constantly be supervised because if teenagers are given too much free time, they can easily get distracted and cannot focus on studying.

I cannot agree with these people. Children are not robots, they get tired and stressful at school and thus parents should not constantly make their kids do homework. If a teenager is smart enough to understand that education will help become a successful person, he or she will never waste free time watching TV or playing video games.

To sum up, I would say that. Even though education is a very important thing in our life, I believe children should not sit behind books all the time. If teenagers learn how to accurately manage their time, they will achieve great success in furher life.

[English Guru]

homework is the last they

обычно is the last thing

sitting behind books

"калька" с русского языка, подумайте, чем заменить...?

I would say that. Even though

Точку нужно убрать, с маленькой буквы продолжить.

Ildar, у вас, как всегда, лексика на высоте, приятно читать. 14/14 - максимальный балл