Тема эссе: to have as much fun as possible or to think about future and plan for it

[dasha16]

Some people think that young people should have as much fun as possible and enjoy themselves during their youth. Others, however, believe that young people should think seriously about their futures and plan for them.


Every year young generation have been more and more freedom. Nowadays, we are able to choose own way to live. Some people take from their life as much fun as possible while the other think about future. So, where is the best variant on what to spend our youth?

In my personal opinion, young people should take care of their future. I cannot imagine my life including only fun and enjoyment. There always should be a purpose in life. I think, living for the sake of nothing is silly. Moreover, the more a person thinks of his or her future, the bigger chance that he or she will have a successful adult life. These people will be able to provide themselves and their family.

On the other hand, some people claim that a youth happens only once. In this age we have much more energy and strength. We must remember this time by spending it only in fun and enjoyment. Furthermore, planning future is always boring.

I strongly disagree with this statement. I am sure, people are able to achieve successful future and herewith to have time to rejoice in life.

To sum up, I want to add that despite other people’s opinion I still believe that we should seriously plan our future because it is our life, we are worthy to be well off. Nevertheless, so many people, so many opinions.

[English Guru]

Every year young generation have been more and more freedom.

Generation редко во множественном числе, осторожно! Если это постепенно действите (gradual), то возьмите present continuous.
is getting more and more freedom или is becoming more and more free

Nowadays, we are able to choose

Запятая не нужна

to choose own way to live

our own и обычно way of + gerund

Some people take from their life as much fun as possible while the other

Нужна запятая перед while, артикль перед other - грубая ошибка. The other переводится "второй".
Some people take from their life as much fun as possible, while others

what to spend our youth?

what to spend our youth on?

I cannot imagine my life including only fun and enjoyment.

consisting only of fun ...

the more a person thinks of his or her future, the bigger chance that he or she will have a successful adult life.

Вы взяли сложный случай "чем...тем"
the bigger the chance that, иначе будет грамматическая ошибка (отсутствуем сказуемое).

will be able to provide themselves and their family.

provide for themselves - http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/provide

a youth

молодость - неисчисляемое, убираем артикль. С артиклем получился "мальчик". А был ли мальчик?

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Итог: 10/14

[vladtheimpaler]

Adolescence is the best period of life, it is the time when a person is young and beautiful, but what about future? There are two opposite opinions concernig responsibility of teenagers for their future. Many people say that teens should not care about their adulthood, while others claim that every young person must plan her or his life as adults. Who is right?

In my opinion, every young human being ought to pay attention to what will be with her or him in a few years. Firstly, teens, espically men, have to make the right choice in their future occupation because they will need money to live and to pay taxes. Secondly, not thinking about future is so dangerous because after few years of fun a person can become lonely because all those friends who were with him or her at the time of adolescence will be grown-people, married and with their own kids.

On the other hand, there are people who are convinced that the teenage time has only one goal and this is fun. They declare that everyone should remain such a child as much as possible.

I totally disagree with this opinion, a person who sees in life nothing unless having a good time is pretty misery. If a person behaves as child she or he are in danger of staying such a child forever.

To sum up, i want to say that adolescence is a great time when a person can enjoy his or her friends and have a lot of fun but everything must have brackets which should be remained untouched.

[English Guru]

will be grown-people

Не особо удачно ...))

В третьем абзаце не хватает аргументов!

a person who sees in life nothing unless having a good time is pretty misery

a person .... is pretty miserable

a person behaves as child

a child

and have a lot of fun but everything

Поставьте запятую перед but

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Итог: 13/14