Women's responsibility

[Christina]

Some people think that it is women's responsibility to run the house and look after the children.Other people believe that times have changed and men and women should participate in doing the chores and raising on an equal basis.

To my mind, the role of women has changed quite a lot because they became to be treated more equally with men.First and foremost, a lot of women work full-time job, that's why they need help about the house from members of her family.Secondly, not only woman must look after the children as both parents basing on their life experience make they better equipped to deal with different situations which may arise in our today's life.

However, there are some traditional families in which woman do all work about the house as the result of that for a long time the women's role was subordinate and included: the rensposibility to care for chidren and to run a household under the supervision of a husband .Moreover, not every woman is avaible to balance work and family duties as a consequence of many couples get divorced.

It seems to me that is not right.Although, equal rights with men make women more self-reliant, that's why they began to help mantain living standarts , but only women with their housewifery skills and with incredibly Iove can create propitious atmosphere in family.

All in all, the modern lifestyle is hectic so a lot of women have to work and in order to avoid excessive family conflicts, both partners should compromise and share household chores equally.
Проверьте,пожалуйста:)

[English Guru]

220 слов.

Старайтесь делить текст на 5 абзацев.

they need help about the house from members of her family

their families

Secondly, not only woman must

a woman / women

not only woman must look after the children as both parents basing on their life experience make they better equipped

Непонятно

there are some traditional families in which woman do

women

not every woman is avaible to balance

Странная лексика, мб is able to?

not every woman is avaible to balance work and family duties as a consequence of many couples get divorced.

Используйте точку или запятую перед as a consequence

with incredibly Iove

incredible - прилагательное

the modern lifestyle is hectic so

Запятая перед so

to avoid excessive family conflicts, both partners

Нет запятой

Быстрая оценка:

-1 балл за абзацы
-1 балл за грамматику
-1 балл за лексику
-1 балл за пунктуацию (включая слишком длинные предложения без точек и запятых)

ИТОГ: 10/14

[Christina]

Спасибо за проверку :)

[English Guru]

Christina, Всё понятно? Нет вопросов?

[Christina]

Да ,все)Только у меня 5 абзацев.То ,что вы сочли за тему это было вступлением(тезисом).Это моя ошибка.Я некорректно сформулировала саму тему.В следующий раз буду более точна.