In any occupation discipline is more important than talent

[angrymouse]

C2. Comment on the following statement. In any occupation discipline is more important than talent.

Talent or discipline? This question is as old as the hills. What is better: to be a talented person or to be a disciplined one? I will try to explain my point of view.

In my opinion, discipline is head and shoulders above talent. First of all, discipline makes you work hard. As a result you can make a good career in your business. Secondly, with discipline your success will no longer depend on fortune, because preparedness will play main part. Finally, disciplined person will always receive positive response from other people, even if he failed to achieve something.

On the other hand, some people believe that talent is more important than discipline. If you do not have talent at all, you cannot gain any results – that is what they say.

I strongly disagree with this statement. Absence of talent makes the way to your goal more complicated, but does not make it impossible.

People used to say: “No sweet without sweat,” and I totally agree with this phrase. Despite other’s people opinion I believe that discipline will always be better than talent.
(183 слова)
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Собственно основной вопрос тот же, что я писал в соседней теме: как быть с лицами. Можно переходить на you или писать he/she или person или ещё как...

[English Guru]

C точки зрения лексики, грамматики и организации текста эссе, все хорошо, правда 1 балл снимаю.
UPDATE: таки нарыл ошибки. Вечером голова лучше работает

Finally, disciplined person

a disciplined person - исчиляемое существительное (неабстрактное) должно иметь артикль.

he failed to achieve something

лексическое отрицание, he failed to achieve anything.

other’s people opinion

other people's opinion, не там апостроф.

С точки зрения содержания, во втором абзаце следует добавить аргументы против Вашей точки зрения, а не просто констатировать факт, что есть другое мнение на этот счёт (как сейчас у Вас). Поэтому 1-2 балла у Вас отнимут.

Кроме этого, рекомендованный объём эссе 200 слов, эссе менее 180 слов не проверяется.

Эссе C2 относится к академическому стилю письма, поэтому рекомендуется избегать прямого обращения к читателю "you" и заменять это местоимение на "peson", "one", допускается также "he or she". Следует также напомнить, что производное местоимение от somebody - это their. Многие проверяющие не замечают данных недостатков и не считают их за ошибки.

Итог: очень хорошая работа, выше среднего.

Вопросы к автору:
1) За какое время написано эссе?
2) Вы точно ничем не пользовались при его написании (держите в памяти все поговорки и шаблонные фразы)?

Не забудьте нажать на кнопочки за нашу бескорыстную помощь! Вы реально поможете форуму.

[karina_mia]

Итак, в помощь людям, которые будут также готовиться к ЕГЭ по английскому: у нас уже есть на форуме пример эссе In any occupation discipline is more important than talent.

[Мария]

C2. Comment on the following statement. In any occupation discipline is more important than talent.

Some people think that if a person has talent,he or she can succeed but others disagree.They claim that for undisciplined ones talent is useless.
I want to express my opinion on this problem.In my view,being talented is not as important as being disciplined.To begin with,if a person is not used to follow the rules,he or she will have big problems at work.Besides,it is very important to be able to do work in time because ,as a rule, most employers need responsible employees.Finally,a person should get on well with others and get their respect.
Nevertheless,there are still those who strongly believe that if one does not have talent,this person will not be able to get a well-paid job in the future.As for me,I absolutely disagree with this point of view.I suppose that even if a person is not talented but disciplined and responsible,there will be no problem to get a good,well-paid job because employers appreciate these qualities.
To sum up,there are different points of view but I am still convinced that discipline is much more important than talent.

[karina_mia]

Мария, сожалею, 0 баллов! Работы менее 180 слов не оцениваются! У Вас 177. Теперь по самой работе:

1) Нет обоснованных доводов (доказательств) против вашей точки зрения (4 абзац).
2) Ошибки:

succeed but others

Нужна запятая перед but.

if a person is not used to follow the rules

To be used to + Gerund в значении привык => following.

good,well-paid job

Запятая не нужна.

3*) Лучше вместо problem говорить issue или matter.

[Ildar]

The popularity of public libraries has suddenly lowered in the past few decades. Should be we worrying about this situation? Is this problem as bad as it seems?
In my opinion, disappearance of public libraries will not be a big issue. To begin with, those people, who have been reading books for whole life, would not reject their favorite hobby just because public libraries vanished. What is more, public libraries cannot help you with finding contemporary books, so people will be faced with the choice of either buying these books in a bookstore or seeking for help of the Internet. Finally, public libraries would make you pay for lost books, if you accidently lost them and this is not a good option for woolgathering people.
However, some adults claim that the vanishment of public libraries will be a catastrophic problem. To their mind, real books cannot be replaced by anything because they are not bad for eyesight, unlike most electronic devices.
I strongly disagree with this statement. Modern technologies can offer devices that do not make your eyes tired fast so reading with pleasure will still remain. E-books are the best option for people who like to travel as electronic books can be filled with hundreds of books.
To sum up, I would say the importance of public libraries will eventually be gone and it is not that bad, because our world changes every day and I believe that paper books will soon be replaced by e-books.

[size=85][color=gray]Добавлено спустя 2 часа 28 минут 30 секунд:[/color][/size]
Забыл написать тему. Она называется "Libraries are becoming less popular these days and soon will dissappear. Do you agree with this statement?"

[English Guru]

Should be we worrying

Should we be worrying ...

that do not make your eyes tired fast so reading with pleasure will still remain.

Запятая перед so

[IrinaLos]

In any occupation discipline is more important than talent

Some people think that in the modern world talent is a very significant quality of every person. However, others believe that discipline and diligence are more important. So, what is the key to success?

In my opinion, talent is just nothing without discipline. Firstly, people got used to think that talent is the something in a humans’ genes which can provide high earnings, professional success and so on. This is a lie because a person should earn all of it, using his or her talent. Besides, talent could become rotten without developing; only permanent trainings are able to make talent work.
On the other hand, some people claim that learning discipline is just a waste of time, efforts, and money. They believe that success depends only on talent. I can not agree withthis point of view, because everybody should get some knowledge and skills to achieve something. For example, the greatest composers could not create their music without skills in reading and writing notes.
Despite other people`s opinion, I am still convinced that discipline and persistence come first, if a person wants to achieve something. Successful person must have a lot of skills and willpower to work hard despite of his or her talent.

[English Guru]

Мысленно поделил Ваше эссе на абзацы, хотя формально их нет (пропускайте строчку, когда делаете на форуме).

got used to think

to thinking

talent is the something in a humans’

Убираем the

in a humans’ genes

Убираем артикль - обидная грамматическая ошибка.

Firstly, people got used to think that talent is the something in a humans’ genes which can provide high earnings, professional success and so on. This is a lie because a person should earn all of it, using his or her talent.

Это лучше сделать абзацем №4 - опровержение контраргумента

point of view, because

нет запятой

Successful person

A successful person

-1 балл за грамматику
-1 балл за решение коммуникативной задачи (во втором абзаце только 1 аргумент, потом Вас понесло не туда)
-1 балл за организацию текста

ИТОГ: 11/14. Хорошее осмысленное эссе.

[katons]

Some people say, that if you want to be successful, you should be disciplined and hardworking. Other people say that talent is much more important than discipline. So, let us discuss this question.

In my opinion, discipline and zeal are more important. Firstly, only work can realize a talent. If you are a talented person, but you do not use your talent, you will never be successful. Secondly, if you do not work, you will have no experience of working and it will make your results worse. Thirdly, disciplined people are more effective. Even when they are tired and exhausted they will work effectively.

However, other people consider that talent is more important than discipline. They say that you will never be successful without talent despite your discipline.

I can not agree with such point of view. History knows a lot of examples of people, who were not very talented, but became successful and famous, for example Salieri. It proves my position, that discipline is more important than talent.

To sum up, I want to say that only hardworking and disciplined people can become successful regardless of their talents. But many men many minds.

[English Guru]

Some people say, that if you want

Запятая перед that не ставиться

katons, хорошая работа

Попробуйте писать, не обращаясь к читателю на you. Пишете one, people, everybody и т.д.