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**Алтана** » 26.02.2015, 18:19

Эссе на тему: A number of people believe that pocket money teaches teenagers to be responsible with money.Others say that teenagers are too young to deal with money and that their parents should just buy them what they need.

The pocket money is small amount of money given regularly to children by their parents.The issue about pocket money is controversial:some people think that teenagers become more sensible and responsible getting the pocket money.Others are sure that youngsters cannot yet to manage money and it will better if to buy them what they need.

In my point of view,pocket money is one of the first ways for children to learn the basics of managing money–a skill they will definitely need for life–and it makes children feel independent.First of all,parents should just explain to children that earning money is not easy and how important to spend money reasonably.Secondly,when teenagers receive money they began to think what to purchase, so they learn how to plan their budget.Thirdly,young people find out the cost of living,paying for various services sush as cafe or cinema.

Nevertheless, there is widely spread opinion that teenagers waste money on useless things.I strongly disagree with this statement,because most of the money we spend at food,passage and other needful stuff.Adults resent about shopping but nowadays to look good and stylish is very important especially for young people.Most of us have part-time jobs so we realize that make money is no picnic.

To sum up,there are many prons and cons on this problem.I assume adults should give the pocket money to teenagers just because it teach them how to manage cash.

**English Guru** » 28.02.2015, 01:57

Алтана писал(а):The pocket money

Определенный артикль здесь не нужен.

Алтана писал(а):is small amount of money

a small amount of money; amount - исчисляемое существительное

Алтана писал(а):cannot yet to manage money

cannot manage money yet - после can не ставим to

Алтана писал(а):and how important to spend money reasonably.

how important it is to spend

Алтана писал(а):when teenagers receive money they began to think

begin

Алтана писал(а):sush as cafe or cinema.

cafes or cinemas или поставьте неопределенный артикль

Алтана писал(а):there is widely spread opinion

a widely spread opinion

Алтана писал(а):Nevertheless, there is widely spread opinion that teenagers waste money on useless things.I strongly disagree with this statement,because most of the money we spend at food,passage and other needful stuff.Adults resent about shopping but nowadays to look good and stylish is very important especially for young people.Most of us have part-time jobs so we realize that make money is no picnic.

Данный абзац нужно разделить на два, дописав аргументы противоположной стороны (хотя бы один) + про родителей напишите, например:

Абзац 3: ПРОТИВОПОЛОЖНАЯ ТОЧКА ЗРЕНИЯ Nevertheless, there is a widely spread opinion that teenagers waste money on useless things. Some people believe that teenagers should follow their parents' example how to spend money wisely and only watch them buy all the things.

Абзац 4: ОПРОВЕРЖЕНИЕ I strongly disagree with this statement because most of the money we spend on food and other needful stuff. Adults resent about shopping, but nowadays to look good and stylish is very important especially for young people. Most of us have part-time jobs, so we realize that making money is no picnic.

Алтана писал(а):statement,because most

Лишняя запятая

Алтана писал(а):the money we spend at food

spend on

Алтана писал(а):most of the money we spend at food,passage

passage ????? :eh:

Алтана писал(а):Adults resent about shopping but nowadays to

Запятая перед but

Алтана писал(а):make money is no picnic.

making money

Алтана писал(а):no picnic.

Разговорные фразы не рекомендуются

Алтана писал(а):prons

pron в американском интернете = porn
pros and cons

Алтана писал(а):cons on this problem

pros and cons of

Алтана писал(а):it teach them how to

teaches

Коэффициенты:

К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи): 2
К2 (организация текста): 2
К3 (лексика): 1
K4 (грамматика): 1
К5 (орфография и пунктуация): 2

ИТОГ: 8/14

Нормальная работа, чтобы улучшить свой результат, Вам необходимо использовать повторить структуру эссе: http://englishgu.ru/struktura-opinion-essay-ege-c2/ , а также работать над лексикой: /viewtopic.php?f=16&t=72 и грамматикой (артикли, времена, порядок слов, глагол-связка to be).

:dance:

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A number of people believe that pocket money teaches teenagers to be responsible