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книга Секреты Эссе
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Some teenagers would like to have a highly paid job; others believe that their future job.

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Сообщение EduardDz » 15.04.2015, 19:32

Nowadays the biggest part of people are chasing for high salaries. They do not really mind about what they are going to do, the only option is payment. Nevertheless, others are still interested in getting exciting job.

In my opinion, job must be interesting. Every person spends about half of life working. It is, obviously, boring to have a dull job with daily routine. Firstly, job requires full involvement in process and it is impossible without interest. Workers spend their days yawning, dreaming of a better place. Secondly, worker that does not like his job will never become a professional. Lovely profession is a key to success.

However, some teenagers do not share my point of view. They claim that an interesting job is usually low-paid. They, also, say that such salary will not give an opportunity to live in luxury and sweet conditions.

These words do not seem true to me. I know many incredible people who have exciting jobs and receive a lot of money. They made great carriers on things they appreciate and like.

To sum up, be candid and do not exchange your priceless life on paper. We have only one chance to make our life useful and exciting. That is why there is no need in doing grey paper work and earning huge sums of money.

Проверьте, пожалуйста :smile:
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Сообщение English Guru » 24.04.2015, 00:56

EduardDz писал(а):people are chasing for
chasing after

EduardDz писал(а):interested in getting exciting job.
an exciting job.

EduardDz писал(а):is, obviously,
запятые не особо тут нужны...

EduardDz писал(а):worker that does not like
a worker

EduardDz писал(а):They, also,
не нужны запятые

EduardDz писал(а):in luxury and sweet conditions.
luxurious

Отобразилась только часть темы ...

K1 - 3
K2 - 3
K3 - 2
K4 - 3
K5 - 1

ИТОГ: 12/14

EduardDz, обратите внимание на артикли. Уже не первый раз Вам говорю... Что не понятно? Любое исчисляемое неабстрактное существительное должно иметь артикль!
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Some teenagers would like to have a highly paid job; others believe that their future job

Сообщение mariama » 07.11.2015, 19:03

Nowadays teenagers are really concerned about their future jobs. There are different opinions on this problem. Some people think that job should be highly-paid. Others argue that job should be interesting and satisfactory. I would like to consider that problem.

In my opinion job should be interesting. Everyone spend their lifes working and earning money. Firstly, it is hard to do something you don’t like. Daily routine can be awful if you hate your job. Secondly, if a person does not like his job it can have a negative impact on it. Thirdly, if a person does not like his job he won’t be successful.

However, some people think differently. They claim that it is important to have high salary to be able to buy everything they need and want. Some people think that they will be very respected if they earn much money.

I disagree with the opposing point of view. If person loves his job he will be happy because when person choose it he takes in account his interests and talents. If you really enjoy your job you will achieve success.

In conclusion, I want to say that for me the most important thing is job satisfaction.

:smile:
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  • 1

CORRECTIONS-1

Сообщение eleda » 08.11.2015, 17:10

ГРАММАТИКА
Артикли

think that {???} job should be highly-paid
that {???}job should be interesting and satisfactory
In my opinion{???} job should be interesting
is important to have{???} high salary
If{???} person loves *his job
when{???} person *choose it

Другое:
Everyone spend
spendS
their lifes working.
their LIFE or their LIVES
when a person *choose it
choosES (настоящее) or chose (прошедшее)

will be very respected
much respected
(very -- перед прилагательными и наречиями, перед глагольными формами -- much)

ПО ФОРМАТУ
Nowadays teenagers are really concerned about their future jobs. There are different opinions on this problem. Some people think that ... Others argue that ... I would like to consider that problem.
Это лишнее.

Firstly, it is hard to do something you don’t like. Daily routine can be awful if you hate your job. Secondly, if a person does not like his job it can have a negative impact on it. Thirdly, if a person does not like his job he won’t be successful.
Если третий пункт НЕ последний, так можно. Если он последний, используйте ...Finally,/Last(ly), Last but not least
In conclusion, I want to say that for me the most important thing is job satisfaction.
Вывод лучше делать более жестко: не "мне бы хотелось", а "я утверждаю, уверена". Все, что "хотелоссь" нужно было говорить в основной части, а сейчас надо жестко и четко подытожживать --
набор «первой помощи» для выражения мнения в заключении:
In conclusion,/All things considered,/…
___ it is my view/(firm) belief that ...
[b]___ I (firmly / strongly) believe that
...
___ I am (strongly/firmly) convinced that ( =я твердо убеждена, что…)
___ I would argue that (= я утверждаю, что…)
Плюс желательно, чтобы вывод состоял как мининмум из двух простых предложений.

После того как сделаете первую правку, обсудим содержание (уровень аргументации и вокабуляр).
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