Virtual internet communication results in losing real-life social skills.

[Ildar]

Communication is a vital thing in a world and it has become a lot more interesting and exciting recently due to the Internet. However, a lot of people do not approve of chatting online.

As for me, virtual internet communication has a lot of disadvantages. To begin with, people who spend too much time on chatting online are likely to become incommunicative and untalkative because they prefer typing on a keyboard rather than speaking. Furthermore, the Internet causes social isolation and thus people suffer from loneliness. Finally, the addiction from virtual communication makes people forget about real life; as a result, they do not want to socialize with people, it is difficult for them to realize their dreams and gain success.

On the other hand, some people think that using the Internet as a means of communication is not such a bad thing. In their mind, chatting online enables us to feel more relaxed and confident while speaking due to the lack of physical contact

I cannot agree with these people. If a person is too shy and timid to communicate with people, chatting online will not help solve this problem because the virtual and real worlds are too different.

To sum up, I would say that even though virtual Internet communication has made our world easier in many ways we should not forget about talking to real people about real issues.

[Shadow804]

Communication is a vital thing in a world

in the world. Мир - уникальная вещь, он один такой)

it has become a lot more interesting and exciting

немного странно звучит. Что стало интереснее? Жизнь? Я бы переделал предложение. И лучше much more interesting

incommunicative

замените на unsociable, а то ранее стоит communication.

the addiction from virtual communication

the addiction to. И без артикля лучше, мне кажется, в общем же говорите.

In their mind

Лучше to their mind/according to them/in their opinion

По-моему, хорошее сочинение. И недочеты несущественные :)

[English Guru]

Shadow804, коллега?

С Вашего позволения я обозначу именно ошибки, так как обо всяких улучшениях можно говорить бесконечно!

Communication is a vital thing in a world
in the world. Мир - уникальная вещь, он один такой)

the addiction from virtual communication
the addiction to. И без артикля лучше, мне кажется, в общем же говорите.

От себя добавлю запятую:

To sum up, I would say that even though virtual Internet communication has made our world easier in many ways we should not forget about talking to real people about real issues.

To sum up, I would say that even though virtual Internet communication has made our world easier in many ways, we should ...

По поводу

it has become a lot more interesting and exciting
немного странно звучит. Что стало интереснее? Жизнь? Я бы переделал предложение. И лучше much more interesting

Видимо, it относится к communication. Коммуникация стала интереснее.

Ildar, у Вас максималка, как всегда. Прислушайтесь также к советам по улучшению стиля, которые даёт Shadow804.

[Shadow804]

English Guru, нет, я еще сам только учусь (не в школе уже, правда) Но чужие ошибки как-то легче заметить всегда:) И потом так продуктивнее получается.

[vladtheimpaler]

People have been communicating since time immemorial. There are two opposite opinions concerning internet conversations. Many people think this is a good way to make new friends and have some fun. While others believe that it is so dangerous and can harm mental health of human beings. Who is right?

In my opinion, virtual chatting has a lot of advantages. Firstly, placing far from home a person can easily connect with relatives and stay in touch all the time. Furthermore, through the internet anyone can find new friends even from other countries and chatting learn new language; know more about friend’s national culture, and etcetera. In addition, the internet is useful in modern world because it allows to conduc negotiations between businessmen who are very busy to meet frequently.

On the other hand, millions of people are convinced that virtual communication is insecure. They give examples of the internet’s victims who suffer from virtual addiction and got broken life.

I totally disagree with these people, I admit that victims exist but the main reason why they have become addicted that they were not socialized which led them to such life and this is the question rather to their parents than to the internet and virtual communicating.

In conclusion, I want to say that the internet is the greatest invention of our age, of course it has drawbacks but they are too small comparing to its advantages.

[English Guru]

placing far from home a person can easily connect with relatives

странный глагол placing (ставя?), выберите другой, например being

the internet

Обычно слово Internet пишут с большой буквы

and chatting learn new language;

Плохо звучит, калька с русского языка

learn new language

Артикль - learn a new language

and etcetera

et cetera

to conduc

conduct

but the main reason why they have become addicted that they

but the main reason why they have become addicted is that they

, of course it

Выделяем вводное слово двумя запятыми.

Хорошее сочинение, 1-2 балла снимут за лексику.

[Elena]

Virtual Internet communication results in losing real-life social skills.
Nowadays some people maintain the idea that humans, using the Internet, become less communicative. Others reckon that the Internet is a significant part of our lives. Let us consider who is right.
From my point of view, the Internet does not help individuals to develop their social skills. Firstly, it is true that frequent going online cause a considerable addictiveness. That is why, some of them stop being in need of seeing friends and family. Secondly, the certain information on the Internet represents completely different reality. So, a person can be given a wrong comprehension of various emotions, feelings and situations in the world.
On the contrary, there is an opinion that the Internet has a lot of advantages. Thus, it lets human beings to communicate with people from all over the world and to learn new cultures without leaving home. Obviously, in this case, the Internet does not harm people’s communicative skills.
However, I cannot agree with that because the Internet does not allow individuals to experience, to feel, to taste and to touch anything. What is more, the World Wide Web permits to pretend to be a person with opposite character qualities without being exposed.
In conclusion, I would like to admit that every person decides how to spend his or her free time. Nevertheless, to my mind, humans should find a balance between reality and virtuality.

Проверьте, пожалуйста.

[English Guru]

frequent going online cause

causes - present simple

lets human beings to communicate

make, let без to

does not allow individuals to experience, to feel, to taste and to touch anything

or to touch anything - когда отрицание, вместо связки and ставим or.

Отличное сочинение, можно поставить максимальный балл!

[Elena]

Спасибо огромное!

[EduardDz]

Virtual Internet communication results in losing real-life social skills.

Nowadays some people suppose that virtual communication substituted regular ways of keeping in touch. Gadgets surround us almost everywhere, let’s be candid-everywhere. Smartphones are always in our hands, laptops are on our knees and chatting instead of speech. That is all about XXI century.

In my opinion, virtual Internet communication is very convenient; 24-hour ability of communication cannot be that bad. Nevertheless, it is good when it have nothing in common with addiction. What is happening today: we are obsessed with our gadgets; absence of WIFI is worse than death. Teenagers have billions of friends and followers on the net, but their real world is empty. They become shy and lose independence, it is becoming more and more difficult for them to say “Hello” to a girl they like, than to type her “I love you” on Facebook. It is true that our generation loses communication skills and it is going to be a huge disaster. To tell the truth, we type faster than we speak. Teenagers hide behind the screen and there is no possibility to hide in reality. It seems like in twenty years today’s children would all have social phobia.

However, there are people who do not see problem or do not want to see it. They are continuing buying gadgets, making profiles and chasing for followers. These people trust their virtual friends.

Many people think that virtual Internet communication would not do any harm but others do not agree. Delete your accounts, forget passwords, find new friends, enjoy your life, it is going to be incredible.

[English Guru]

that virtual communication substituted

Лучше has substituted

laptops are on our knees

лексика: laptops are on our laps Поэтому он и называется laptop

and chatting instead of speech.

лексика: instead of speaking

when it have nothing in common

грамматика: it has

Internet communication would not do any harm but others do not agree

запятая перед but

Мне понравилось Ваше эссе, читаю и не могу оторваться, очень хорошо пишете в принципе, но по ЕГЭшным стандартам Вы пишете больше о Virtual Internet communication и не концентрируетесь на results in losing real-life social skills. Эксперт может посчитать, что сочинение не по теме. Чтобы получить максимальный балл выражайте чётко свое мнение, например: I do not agree that people can lose their social skills because of the Internet. Во-вторых сделайте свою аргументацию более убедительной. В четвертом абзаце я бы написал Such people can easily combine virtual and real-life communication... В третьих, делите сочинение на 5 абзацев: http://englishgu.ru/struktura-opinion-essay-ege-c2/ И, в-четвертых, 260 слов многовато. 220 - золотая середина.

-2 балла за решение коммуникативной задачи
-1 балл за лексику

11/14

[EduardDz]

English Guru,
Спасибо большое за проверку,буду работать!
Про laps как-то и не задумывался

[IrinaLos]

Nowadays virtual communication is becoming more and more popular. Some people can not imagine their life without it. But there are different opinionson influence of such communication. Does it cause losing social skills?
I think, it does not. In some cases it even helps. Firstly, it helps shy people. Internet is a global network, where people do not usually know each other, so you can use fake name, fake photos and so on. There is nothing to shy. During virtual communication such people can learn how to express their opinions surely, to become more self-confident. Secondly, there are people from all over the world who you can talk to by means of the Internet. You will get to know more about their characters, will better understand people having other mentalities and lifestyles.
On the other hand some people claim that virtual communication is fake communication. You can not exactly know whether a person lies to you or not, you can not see his or her real emotions. Sometimes he or she is not who you supposed them to be.
I do not agree with this point of view because this problem is not actual only for virtual communication. All of us are subjected to the risk of being cheated in our real lives too.
Despite other people`s opinion, I am still convinced that Internet communication helps to develop some new social skills but not to lose them. However, it has some risks as any other kind of communication has. We should just be careful.

[English Guru]

Прошу вас между абзацами делать пустую строку, чтобы я понимал, что это абзацы!

opinionson

opinions on

is a global network, where

Лишняя запятая

use fake name

a fake name

There is nothing to shy.

There is nothing to be ashamed of.

On the other hand some people

Требуется запятая после вводной конструкции "on the other hand,"

On the other hand some people claim that virtual communication is fake communication. You can not exactly know whether a person lies to you or not, you can not see his or her real emotions. Sometimes he or she is not who you supposed them to be.

Плохой контраргумент. Ожидается что-то о "results in losing real-life social skills", а у вас "virtual communication is fake communication". Это не то.

this problem is not actual

Вот в прошлый раз не исправил вам, и вы продолжаете)) Нет такого словосочетания "actual problem" в нужном значении... Копать нужно в эту сторону... http://j.mp/1v26QCg

All of us are subjected to

Обычно All of us are subject to

it has some risks as any other kind of communication has

..... does.

-1 балл за решение коммуникативной задачи
-1 балл за орфографию и пунктуацию
-1 балл за лексику

ИТОГ: 11/14

[Nana]

Проверьте, пожалуйста

Nowadays virtual communication is becoming more and more popular. There are two opposite opinions concerning internet conversations. Many people think this is a good way to make new friends and have some fun. While others believe that it results in losing real-life social skills. Let’s think about it.

In my opinion, virtual chatting has a lot of advantages. Firstly, being far from home a person can easily connect with relatives and stay in touch all the time. Secondly, it lets humans to communicate with people from all over the world and to learn new cultures without leaving home. Thirdly, the Internet can be the excellent assistant in information search. There is a very useful websites, such as "Wikipedia", where you can find much information in a clear manner about everything - events, people, things and so on.

However, some people think that virtual Internet communication makes people forget about real life; as a result, some of them stop being in need of seeing friends and family. What is more, this people consider that Internet results in losing real-life social skills.

Nevertheless, I cannot agree with this point of view. In my opinion, the Internet is not harmful to human communication skills. On the contrary, it develops their social skills because on the Internet people communicate more often. In addition, I think that every person decides how to spend his or her free time, as for me, I always prefer to communicate with a real person instead to chat online.

To sum up, I’d like say that even though virtual Internet communication has made our world easier in many ways we should not forget about talking to real people about real issues. To my mind, humans should find a balance between virtual and real worlds.

[English Guru]

it results in losing real-life social skills.

Перефразируйте тему! Вот, например, как писали выше:

While others believe that it is so dangerous and can harm mental health of human beings.

it lets humans to communicate

После let и make to в активном залоге нет.

There is a very useful websites,

There are very useful websites - сразу две грамматические ошибки

stop being in need of seeing friends and family

При отрицании используется связка or вместо and.

this people

these people
Повторите указательные местоимения: http://englishgu.ru/ukazatelnyie-mestoimeniya/

instead to chat online.

instead of chatting

I’d like say that

Не сокращайте в эссе, это же не разговорный стиль как в письме другу! I would like to say

Кроме того, мне не очень понравился второй абзац - вы едва не уходите в тему "Интернет вообще". Нужно делать акцент, что люди много общаются в Интернете и это позитивно влияет на их социальные навыки. Именно второй части моей мысли у Вас и не обнаруживается.

K1: 2
K2: 3
K3: 3
K4: 2
K5: 2

12/14

[Nana]

Большое спасибо!

[Konfetka]

It is no doubt that Internet has become an important part in our life. However, there are some disadvantages of using Internet. Let's disscuss both statements.
To my mind, Internet is a way to communicate with different people,living in any part of the world. Besides, such virtual chatting is faster than sending letters by post offices. Your message in the social network require few seconds, while your pen-friend get letter after two or three weeks. Moreover you are able to use picture, music, document and other files when you chat.
Nevertheless, opponents have a contrary point of view. They find virtual communication the largest problem, espessially for the youngsters. Firstly, people often forget about existance rel friends. For example, you have a thousand friends in the list on Facebook, but you don't say "hello", "how are you" , when you meet them. Secondly, Internet chatting has a definate slang. Words should be short ar written another way. It harms our grammar and language skills.
I can not fully agree with above-given opinion, because those factors depend on person. In addition, virtual communication sometimes helps person to find friends, because he/she does not have a friendship in real life.
To sum up, I stronly believe that Internet chattig is useful, but we should remind about border between virtual world and real life.

[English Guru]

It is no doubt that Internet

Обычно there is no doubt

with different people,living in any part of the world.

По правилам английской пунктуации запятая в таких случаях не нужна

Your message in the social network require

requires

while your pen-friend get letter after two or three weeks.

will get

Moreover you

Moreover, - запятая после вводного слова

espessially

especially

about existance rel friends.

about the existence of real friends.

"how are you" , when you meet them.

Запятая перед when не нужна

definate

definite

ar

or

written another way.

written in another way

I can not fully agree with above-given opinion,

the above-given opinion

I can not fully agree with above-given opinion, because

Запятая перед because не ставится

those factors depend on person.

a person

should remind about border between

remind - напоминать
remember - помнить
the border

K1: 3
K2: 3
K3: 2
K4: 1
K5: 0

ИТОГ: 9/14 Рекомендации: откройте онлайн-учебник http://englishgu.ru/online-uchebnik-po-angliyskomu/ Изучите параграфы - § 03, § 24. Обязательно напишите еще несколько эссе, учитывая все ошибки.

[Konfetka]

Спасибо за проверку! Недочеты в словах я сделала по ошибке ("Real"), старалась побыстрее написать, а когда обратила внимание, то было уже поздно. Правило запятых при вводных словах, также мне известно)) опять же невнимательность виновата.
А вот выражение It is no doubt мне встречалось в каких-то сочинениях...